Hugging


I have a deep aversion to hugging anyone. My therapist wanted me to start journaling (4 years ago LOL) when I first started seeing him regularly, weekly at first but then loss of insurance and then lower income forced me to go every other week. He wanted me to work on my issues from my childhood. I don’t particularly like writing about my awful childhood. I would not want to relive it for anything and believe me my life right now is not a picnic.

I was in either the 6th or 7th grade when I laid down the law on my parents. “Do not touch or hug me, DO NOT!” I shrieked at them and I know they were hurt and appalled. I can see that now, but then all I knew is that I didn’t want hugs period. They did what I requested and no more hugs or arms around my shoulders or whatever. No touching. Except for spankings on the few occasions I did something wrong LOL! That was rare as I was a “Goodie Two Shoes” though.

Working through my therapy when I first discussed this with my therapist , I wasn’t really sure why I did that. To be honest I still am uncomfortable with hugs though, but have grown up enough to handle it without hurting peoples feelings. I have even been able to initiate a hug.

My thoughts on this are that I found touching/hugging to be something that is part of the intimate part of life and therefore I should not be touched by anyone that I am not intimate with. Is this the definite reason? I don’t know, but I do know that hugging an intimate partner does not bother me at all. It is a comfort. I know they say that hugging is supposed to be comforting, but I just don’t see it in certain situations. It is just one of my idiosyncrasies. Certainly not the only one, not the last one either I am sure.

Is this what you are looking for Doc?

Tessa

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3 thoughts on “Hugging

  1. jannatwrites

    Hugs from strangers are awkward for me, but I’ve learned to get through them 🙂 The first time I encountered someone not from my family hugging me was in 10th grade. I had a friend whose greeting was an exuberant hug like she hadn’t seen you in years, even it was just an hour. The first few times she did that I stood there stiff as a board thinking, “what the heck?!” but I learned to accept it because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

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