One of the things my therapist wanted me to write about is things from my childhood that might explain why I am like I am today. I have lots of fears and phobias. One of them is heights. Even afraid to walk across a plank 2 inches off the ground with my friends when I was little. No ladders, trees or just walking over a bridge. Terrified even to drive over bridges and tunnels.
Anyhow here is a short story of when I was little, remember names changed to protect the innocent (ha,ha,ha). I was too little to remember this. This is my parents’ memories.
“John where is Tessa?” Carol was tearing around the house looking for her, but she couldn’t find her anywhere.
“She has to be here. How could she get out of the house?” John starts searching now.
They happen to look out the window and see Tessa walking across the top of the swing set. John starts running to the door, but Carol stops him, “If you scare her she will fall. Wait til she gets to the other side.”
Nervously they watch her progress across the swing set. She is so small and balancing on the top bar. She finally hits the end of the bar and climbs down.
John and Carol run outside to scold her and to stop her trying it again. Just last week they found she had climbed out of the crib and up the side of the chest of drawers and was standing on top wiggling around inches from the window.
Something from that incident probably embedded itself in me and made me terrified of heights and balancing. The older I got the more afraid I became.
Nothing like ending the day with a trip to Walmart the day before Easter. We were there standing in lines 15 or so deep and they wouldn’t open any more. People were calling on their cell phones and complaining. We had finished eating, my son and I, and decided to go to Walmart tonight rather than tomorrow because I figured Saturday night everyone would be busy doing Saturday night things. I don’t have a life so I figured tonight was better than Sunday. It didn’t occur to me until I had been standing in line for awhile why it was so crowded. Then I saw all the Easter Baskets, duh!!
While there I bought a scale. Needed one if I am going to keep track of my weight in hopes of losing some of it. I wasn’t happy with the 225 lbs it showed me. Remember I am only 4’11” and that makes a big difference. Okay I had breakfast for dinner, 2 eggs, 4 sausage links, hash browns (?) and 1 slice of bread with jelly. 4 hours later and my sugar is 204. Not good, but has been much, much worse. I had breakfast for breakfast too.
I went to Friendlys with my BFF as we do every Saturday morning. So I confess to ice cream as well. But no soda, just my water, pills, renal support and detox. I remembered them all including my inhaler.
I didn’t have lunch as I came home and took about a 5 hour nap. I used my BiPap machine and slept better. I use it at night too, but keep waking up.
I just fed the cat a little while ago and then she threw it all up. Yuk, what a mess. You would think she never eats and she always eats too fast.
I can’t believe this blog has broken my obsession with FaceBook. I prefer being obsessed with this.