Daily Archives: April 7, 2015

An early night??


As you know I got up at 7:30 this morning. I did not take a nap this afternoon so the long day is starting to drag me down. I was even falling asleep during Wheel of Fortune. I only had about 5 hours sleep last night, which is actually good for me and with less sleep I am more alert and shake the drowsiness that hounds me from my medications.

  • I had lunch today 1 slice pizza and the meatballs out of half a meatball sub. 
  • Dinner was another slice of pizza. We haven’t shopped in a while and I am working on what I will be eating soon so the next time I shop I will keep my new healthy diet in mind. Rebuilding a new me is not an easy task, but I realize that I have to do this now before things get worse. I especially don’t want to do insulin. Right now I am on oral medications for Type 2 Diabetes.
  • I am drowning in water so I am getting plenty of that. 
  • And I am getting heartburn, just took an antacid, hope to avert a possible hiatal hernia or acid reflux attack.
  • I was feeling a little better physically, but my back started full throbbing after my walk today. Can’t win!
  • I had my night time medications and maybe tonight I will try for an earlier night.
  • My moods have been fairly stable the last few days for which I am thankful.

Tessa

I am a Suicide Survivor (Possible Trigger)


I, too, tried to commit suicide, full bottle of wine and a handful of pills. I spent time in the psyche ward and they started me on meds. I am glad you want to live. I do too!

Bipolar Whispers

I have been contemplating writing this post for a long time. With what has been going on with us lately, I have decided I will give it a try.

After all, if this helps just one person, it will have been worth the share.

I wasn’t sure how it would be received.  I wasn’t sure how I was going to write it.  Years ago I wrote it for me.  I wrote it in speech form as my 19 year old self and it was therapeutic.  I have no desire to post it in that form, so I am going to start over.

Do over.

This is my suicide survivor story.

Disclaimer:  This could be triggering.  Please take some time and be careful if you decide to read.

A yellow ribbon is a symbol that stands for suicide prevention, and I have worn a yellow ribbon as a reminder to myself…

View original post 1,413 more words

Blood Sugar is 104, better than 63 from yesterday!


Okay here it is Tuesday morning. I am up early again, around 7:30 AM:

  • showered (2 days in a row and my hair feels so soft and clean instead of always greasy)
  • weighed myself – lost 3 lbs over the last few days
  • ate breakfast – eggs over medium, no bread, but did have asparagus with it
  • blood sugars in ok range for fasting – 104
  • took all of my morning medications and detox and inhaler (keeping track helps me remember to take it)
  • couple bottles of water so far, still no soda or caffeine
  • hip pain from yesterday’s walk not bad this morning
  • my moods have been fairly steady, no great happiness, but no deep depression either
  • I had to cut down my mood stabilizer again because I might run out while the insurance company fights the Latuda

Tessa

Canoeing —- non-fiction piece written on other blog


This really happened to my family. I wrote the story as fiction, but it was real-life and all names have been changed to protect the guilty  🙂 First appeared on other blog www.finallyawriter.com

Canoeing

“Suzy and Sharon get out of the street and quit fighting. There are cars coming,” Laurel told her two daughters. “For the last time get over here!”

The girls moved and Laurel went back to help her husband, John, get the canoe lifted over the metal fence covering the opening to the stream they were going to investigate. This was the first trip with the girls ages 7 & 8. They were with several other couples as they didn’t explore unknown creeks or streams without having someone else with them.

Finally all the canoes were over the fence and sat on a small beach ready to be loaded. The girls were lifted off the side of the road and put on the beach as well.

Once everyone was loaded, they put the 2 girls in the middle of the canoe and Laurel waded out and climbed in the front. John pushed the canoe further out and climbed inside.

Each girl was wearing a life-jacket and had a bottle of soda to keep them from begging for a drink all the time. They finally settled down and John and Laurel started paddling.

As usual Laurel steered them into the sides of the stream and the sticker pushes, logs etc. John shouted,”Laurel haven’t you learned to paddle yet? This is ridiculous!”

Just as she turned around to yell back at him they headed right into the overhanging branches of a tree and they all leaned to one side and the canoe tipped over completely. Quickly John and Laurel looked for the girls and they were floating thanks to the life jackets.

They both started laughing as their daughter Sharon was holding tightly to her soda bottle and had it over head so it wouldn’t sink. They quickly flipped the canoe back over and put their stuff that was floating around back in. They tried to put the girls back in the canoe, but they both refused and started crying that they weren’t going back into the canoe with them. The harder they tried, the harder they cried.

Finally one of their friends offered to take them. They reluctantly agreed and were lifted into the other canoe. They started on their way again with John yelling at Laurel. Laurel always said they should have divorce courts at the end of the trip as most couples weren’t speaking by the time they got to the end hours later.

Walking, just a little each time…


Today’s quick recap:

  • got a shower
  • made and ate breakfast
  • took all pills
  • napped all afternoon

Got up for dinner when my son got home from work and his outside workout after work.  I got up at 5:30 PM. We went out as usual for dinner. I had a small hoagie, no soda still. We came in and had to do my walk. He makes me. 🙂 However, he understands now that I need to go slower. We turn around when I start to have trouble breathing and when the hip pain starts. Luckily the lower back feels a little better right now so that didn’t hurt.

I just took my blood sugar a couple of hours after eating 6 peanut butter cracker sandwiches and it was 209. The hoagie was around 6 PM. It doesn’t come down as fast even with all the water I drink now. I was told to drink a bottle of water to bring it down. I have had at least 4 or 5 bottles. One good thing is that all the water makes the blood flow easier for the testing. Should help my regular blood work as well.

Now I am going to read some and then try to sleep. Sleeping is such a problem even with the pills I take.

Tessa