I was not a social child, just like I am not a social adult. I consider myself anti-social in most cases.
As a child I had friends, even a best friend, that my parents were constantly pushing me out the door to play with. I didn’t want to go play. I wanted to be left alone and allowed to read, to escape my horrible life. They thought they were helping. That I just needed a shove in the right direction, but that wasn’t true. I think they actually made things worse for me mentally. They didn’t know I had mental issues. I was just being difficult. They had no idea that it scared me to panic to have to go out. There were also yelling about me not sleeping. They could yell all they want, but nothing changed except I withdrew into myself more and more. And I hated to go outdoors. Still do!
Once I grew up and married and moved out, my ex-husband took over forcing me to have friends. His friends mostly. I really didn’t have any of my own. After the divorce I lost touch with most of them. They were his friends (ours by marriage only). I was not interested.
There were years of being left alone except by my children who feel they must try to get me out to do things. Visit, shop, go to the park with the kids, etc. I understand they are trying to help and I don’t fault them for that, but I am mainly a loner.
About 7 years ago I met FP. We met online on a group that was set up to help people find clutter buddies in their areas to meet in person. I just happened to notice 2 NJ ones and they were both near me. We emailed for awhile and made arrangements to meet. I am kind of surprised I made it without a breakdown. Meeting new people just was so difficult for me. However I am so glad I gave it a chance. I made 2 friends one who is now what I consider a BFF and an angel sent into my life to help me. This woman who is afraid to drive at night had her husband bring her to visit me in the psyche ward. That’s a true friend. She accepts me for who I am and is there for me when needed.
Thank you FP, you are my BFF and I love you!