Today I took a nap. I had nightmares. The nightmare woke up memories I have struggled to keep hidden deep in my psyche. Once they were woken up I spent hours struggling to figure out what they mean. They could help explain why I told my parents to never touch me again or hug me. They might not. I am confused.
I don’t want to cry abuse if there was none. I have not remembered anything as serious as that. Does it explain my promiscuity? Was it just punishment as claimed. I was a child. I have been reading other people’s stories and now with this memory I do wonder although I can’t imagine it really being abuse.
Maybe the nightmare confused me some or added to a situation that wasn’t what it pointed to. The punishment explains why I became Miss Goody Two Shoes.
I just went into this thoroughly in the he journal for the therapist. She wants inside my head she will get it, but she might be shocked. I can’t discuss it on here anymore. I could be completely wrong and don’t want to make accusations that probably are not true, but just triggered by a nightmare and a hidden memory.