Lost in my Bipolar World


emotion-woman

Today I took a nap. I had nightmares. The nightmare woke up memories I have struggled to keep hidden deep in my psyche. Once they were woken up I spent hours struggling to figure out what they mean. They could help explain why I told my parents to never touch me again or hug me. They might not. I am confused.

I don’t want to cry abuse if there was none. I have not remembered anything as serious as that. Does it explain my promiscuity? Was it just punishment as claimed. I was a child. I have been reading other people’s stories and now with this memory I do wonder although I can’t imagine it really being abuse.

Maybe the nightmare confused me some or added to a situation that wasn’t what it pointed to. The punishment explains why I became Miss Goody Two Shoes.

I just went into this thoroughly in the he journal for the therapist. She wants inside my head she will get it, but she might be shocked. I can’t discuss it on here anymore. I could be completely wrong and don’t want to make accusations that probably are not true, but just triggered by a nightmare and a hidden memory.

Tessa

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6 thoughts on “Lost in my Bipolar World

  1. bringbackhisgirls

    Praying that Christ would encourage you in Him. Christ is with you, holding your hand and walking with you through the darkness of such nightmares. He is with you. Praying you’d be strengthened by His Love. Jesus Bless you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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