Therapy, sad…


owl-947735_1280 (2)Some of you may have read this story elsewhere, but therapy brought it up again and now I am sad and grieving.

I was 17 and forced into sex and though I didn’t know it (I was only a kid myself), I became pregnant. I knew I was late, but then one day something fell in the toilet and I thought it was just one of the huge blood clots I would get. Sorry for the description guys!

I never forgot what it looked like and a few years ago I saw pictures of miscarriages in different stages and there was one that looked like what I saw.

I was pregnant and never knew it and now I am upset over the loss even though angry parents would be the least of our problems.

I know now that it was not in God’s plan for us to have a baby at 17. I gave birth for the first time when I was 21. If I had actually given birth if we stayed together (we married and had 3 kids) then it is possible my son would not have come about. Obviously my son was meant to be born and the first one was not.

I wonder how long before I get over this. And for the record I told no one. I mentioned it briefly to K2 because she kept having miscarriages when she tried for a 2nd child. She finally conceived and carried to term another son. I also wanted her to feel better about being pregnant at 17. She wasn’t the only one.

I believe fetuses are babies as soon as they are conceived. That was a child I lost.

Tessa

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8 thoughts on “Therapy, sad…

  1. Fit n Fine TN

    Bless you, Tessa. I can’t imagine what you are feeling 😦 I also am very grateful that you were later blessed with children. God obviously wanted you to be a mother but in His wisdom, He knew when the time was right. {{{HUGS}}}

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