Those of you who have read the last post know some of my story about Christ and what I now feel was his calling to me. I was obsessed with that college for years, but then my interest in Christ diminished and I spent 40 years in my own private desert and with my own suffering and hell. I also couldn’t go to college. A way would have been found if not for my giving up, but there was no money and I would have to get a scholarship, but I am intelligent and if I really had wanted to I could have.
Bad things happened to me, but I believe that God still looked out for me despite my sins and my giving up my trust in him. Things that could have turned very bad, didn’t. I was always saved.
Yes I have Bipolar Disorder and many chronic pain disorders including Fibromyalgia. I don’t know if they are punishment or not. Since giving my life to Christ I feel better in many little different ways.
Today I went to write a prompt and I was called to write about expecting miracles and explaining my interest in Oral Roberts University from my youth. It is calling me again. Does God want me in his service? It would take a miracle to accomplish that and I am not getting any younger. I am headed towards 60 and I am afraid to talk in front of people.
Those that pray please pray for my confusion to straighten up and for me to decide what I really want out of life.
Now I am going to bed.
I couldn’t wait to finish this.
Teresa E Smeigh