Monthly Archives: February 2016

Cleansing my heart!

I just wrote an emotional email to my family. I will not be posting it here as it is too personal, but it cleansed my heart and let me free up the pain and is allowing forgiveness and forgetfulness. I feel so much lighter. I hope it frees up some of the pain inflicted by others on the rest of us.

We were a family for 23 years, but we never got it right. I will say the marriage should never have happened in the first place and that was partly me, My mental disorders being tricked by the King of this happy little story. I should have said NO and meant NO and let him do with his mental health what he wanted. He fits the role of narcissist. No longer will I allow myself to be treated that way.

Jesus Christ is my love, my path, my savior and he loves each and every one of you no matter your religion or lack of religion.


Daily Gratitude February 25, 2016

Dear Lord, I want to thank you for making the pain so bad I had to seek help that will change my life. My diet is making me sick which I knew but didn’t take a real listening to until the pain became so bad that I could barely walk due to my knees. I was in complete pain throughout my body today and went and was told that my body is full of inflammation and caused by my horrid diet. Now I must listen if I want to lose the pain and all this weight. I wondered when I would finally listen.



Fibromyalgia lies, oh it so lies…My two week period of pain and many different kinds of pains, etc.

My Chiropractor is an expert in Fibromyalgia as well. Also have a rheumatologist doctor and my family doctor weighing in.

Today  my knees finally gave up. I could barely hold the weight. It was the joints. For 2 weeks I thought my Fibro was getting better, while this other pain kept getting worse. I went to the chiropractor today. I listed all my pains: jaws, face, head, neck, the whole spine and back, the hips, the knees, legs, arms and feet. Feet and arms are numb.

Then there is the upset stomach, IBS, acid reflux. (Probably all the junk I ate) I got a lecture on my diet. Not the only doctor reading me the riot act.

I am overweight and actually seriously obese and getting worse. I am at my highest weight. I noted this the other night I think. I am 240 pounds and 4’11” tall. Eating is part of my comfort zone. He said my body is full of inflammation.

Now my doctors are taking my comfort away and being damned strict about it. I am suffering from all the sugar I eat. The wheat I eat. I must immediately stop sugar (also have diabetes) wheat which includes my sandwiches, pizza, pasta. potatoes, some fruits.

I asked him what on this earth can I eat. He says meat, fresh fruits and vegetables. My son and I found a diet that is lacto-ovo-pescatarian  (semi-vegetarian. only fish, dairy, and eggs). I can live with that and throw in some fresh fruits and veggies and occasionally red meat.

I have to stop it cold turkey, my son has been working on slowly changing his diet. I don’t have that time. I can’t keep up this level of pain and no pain relievers. I know the no sugar edict is a must for so many things.

Tomorrow I have to go to grocery store and buy the ingredients. All junk food out of my bedroom. No fried foods. Hopefully settle stomach.

I had today – eggs, fish, raw carrots. Very low carbs. Might lose some weight another plus.


Daily Gratitude February 24, 2016

Dear Lord, thank you for continuing to keeping my Fibromyalgia pain low. About a 4/10 for the thirteenth day. Dear Lord I am rejoicing because you threw knee pain relief in there too. Walking, especially up and down stairs was very painful. Last night it hit 9/10. Not good. It could barely hold my weight. Today I got downstairs without thinking about it. He took it away for now. Into every life some rain must fall. For me it has been pouring, but I thank the Lord for letting me to live and to continue to do his bidding for him.



Daily Gratitude February 23, 2016

Dear Lord, thank you for continuing to keeping my Fibromyalgia pain low. About a 5/10 for the twelfth day. Dear Lord I would rejoice if you threw knee pain relief in there too. Walking, especially up and down stairs is very painful. Last night it hit 9/10. Not good. It can barely hold my weight.