Daily Archives: February 15, 2016

Depression growing, sleeping fitfully.


Depression probably causing the harsh dreams. Strange, rough edges. I fall asleep have a weird dream and wake up again. A very long night.

I had to take the BiPap machine off as the mask was giving me the creeps. Has been lately. Plus it just doesn’t fit right. I can’t sleep with it on. I think it is useless as it is.

The extra anti-depressant hasn’t kicked in yet. Usually takes 2 days of an extra dose. The mood stabilizer for the mania works much faster to ratchet me down.

I don’t know whether I want to sleep again or try at least or not. I have a touch of anxiety as well. I feel so alone. Nights like this I miss having a partner of some kind. Not for sex, just for company, to keep the monsters away.

My eyes are watering. Just tired or tears I am not sure.

I haven’t read any posts for a day or two. This depression started coming on last night, no I take that back it was Friday night. No writing of prompts. I did some email.

I think Susan gave me a sleeping prayer. Have to check it out. No it was for healing pain. Well that is fitting too and not just body pain. The body isn’t the only thing that needs healing.

If you don’t see me much you know that I am still fighting for a victory over the depression.

No matter how I feel I will keep up with the devotions if nothing else. That is part of God’s wish for me and I take my commitment seriously.

Tessa