I have said before that there is a link between my bipolar and fibromyalgia. If I am manic, my fibromyalgia is very painful. I just found this out recently. Also the fact they made me stop my anti-inflammatory so I could take an anti-biotic had ALL my joints singing a horrible tune. I could hardly move. I thought I was going to have to call son or dad to get me out of bed. Terrible experience. Thank God I am back to normal, well normal for me.
Had therapy the other day. She says I am making huge progress. I wrote a letter to my ex-husband, and 3 children. I didn’t sugarcoat, but I didn’t go off on a nasty tangent like I wanted to. I know God wouldn’t like that. Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord. I give my ex credit he didn’t go off on me. He didn’t call me. He called the children who verified I was not going crazy and needed hospitalization, but just getting it off my chest. I also told them all about the baby I lost a long time ago and was still grieving. Nobody has talked to me except my son. Not sure if that is good or bad. My therapist thought the letter was well written and my homework this week is to color. I like to color, but can’t focus very long. She wants to see color. So I just bought crayons and pencils, not sure which medium I prefer and I have 3 coloring books, all different. Plus I write a journal the kind with all my feelings and that takes time, but she reads that during the week and has our topics ready and her questions are ready. Working well and I don’t mind her reading my deepest thoughts. That is how to heal. I can’t print all of them in this blog though you guys know most of what I say to her. I finally healed the scabs. Now I pick terribly at my skin on my hands, yank my ears, twist my hair and bite myself. Plenty more to go.
Tomorrow I go for my med management session with my APN nurse. I have to mention an article I read about study that shows sedatives like Klonopin, Xanax and so on have an increased chance of suicides and cancer rates and they are quite high. Going to try and remember to ask about this tomorrow. Been taking them for years on a steady basis and I now have a cyst in my breast. They don’t know if it is benign or not.