Fibromyalgia and Grief


When we are first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia we go though a period of grief. First we deny it. This can’t be happening to me. Why is it happening to me?

Next we go through anger. Again why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?

Then there is depression where we get to the point that we don’t care anymore. People don’t believe us anyway. It is an invisible illness and people tend to think we are lazy. We get this reaction even from our loved ones.

And finally acceptance. We get to the point that we have to accept it for what it is. We might not be able to do the things we used to do including working, cleaning, childrearing, etc.

I have finally made it to acceptance, but my family hasn’t. They don’t feel that I am trying. That I have given up. Maybe giving up is the same as acceptance. I have lost hope that things might change and the Fibromyalgia will just go away. Right now I have to accept that some days will be much worse than others.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate For Mental And Invisible Illnesses

-Author Of Articles, Stories And Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

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9 thoughts on “Fibromyalgia and Grief

  1. morgueticiaatoms

    It’s the “invisible illness” thing, causes people to become insensitive ostriches.
    Every time someone around me gets the flu, I want to nag at them to try harder so I can hear them, “But, I am sick, I need time to heal…”
    YEP.

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  2. Mother Hen

    I Tessa, as of today I received a book I ordered called Uninvited, by Lisa Terkeurst. Look it up and see if it may of interest to you..We have an all loving Father, that knows all, and He knows best.

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  3. darklady5

    It doesn’t mean that we are giving up Tessa it just means that we learned that our illness is here to stay and became our best friend, in a negative way, but there’s no use to feel anger all the time and when we accept it it’s easier to deal with each day… some we will feel doewn yes but some others we feel we can do it all and believe for a moment that it could be worse. Sometimes I joke with my husband about my own limitations and I just tell him blame it on FM.. I’m doing my best so shut up!

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    1. Tessa Post author

      I accept it, but my family blames me for giving up. I am supposed to exercise even though it huts a lot. I am supposed to go to family gatherings or friends gatherings even though it takes everything out of me. I research and look for things that might help, but so far nothing really does. I went to the chiropractor today and it hurts so bad as he presses on the trigger points as part of the adjustment. I don’t even know if it is helping. The only way to find out is to stop and then if it was restart again. I don’t want to do that so I suffer with a weekly adjustment. Down from 3 a week. I have trouble with my spine too so there is the hope that it is doing something for some part of my body.

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      1. darklady5

        Well I understand you, i used to do some 10m exercises for the joints then at home I practiced QiGong which is really good but when you first start with the exercises you’re body will be too achy but after one week doing it you start feeling bit better; I used to walk too much but due my spine problems my doctor told me that I had to reduce my walking or I would be very bad yet I have to walk each day a bit which I don’t do anymore because I’m tired of going on walking on the noise, traffic is absolutely insane. At rhe moment I stoped with all my exercises 😦 all because I just can’t do anything with my damn neighbours noise all the time but try QiGong, is kind of meditation & joints exercises very good for people like us with FM

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