First off I am still going off grid with occasional updates. That sentence took me a long time to make sense. I have mental/cognitive impairment. What I want to say or do doesn’t always happen.
My blood sugar is still between 170 and 250 fasting. I am sure it isn’t helping how I feel. My dr put me on a low dose of Januvia and nothing changed. That is along with my glipizide. I can’t take metformin. The diarrhea was terrible. I still eat what ever I want and we all that is sweets or high carbs/pasta/bread.
That is what I need to concentrate on physically.
Mentally my bipolar and borderline personality disorder is running rampant. I am not myself. I say things that shock my son to other people. I argue with them. I never did that before. I was always the perkiest, sweetest person to others even if I had to fake it. I didn’t think I had to be mean to others, I have lost control. Again the mental impairment is out of my control.
Sleep in 5 minute increments or maybe not at all.
I see things, hear things and now feel things touching me. Seriously my family is ready to take me back to the hospital.
When I wake up I have no idea where I am. I am scared at first especially if seeing, hearing and feeling things. My balance is off and I usually fall off the bed and into my bureau. Then trip over the chair as I veer the other way. I lose my balance and fall off curbs and steps. Falling all the way down the steps really scared me. Luckily no broken bones. I now have to sleep down stairs. They keep me off them as much as they can.
I might peek in and let you know how things are going. If I come out of the depression I will feel more like writing. I might occasionally send in a devotional just to keep in practice.
Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh
-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses
-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems