This is a copy of my journal I write for my therapist

Journal – morning only – I figured I would put the journal on here so I don’t have to write it over:


December 14, 2016

Day after therapy and I am still animated. I know it is false since it is mania and not my only mood/mask I show. I still have energy and am cleaning up my room as much as my physical body will let me. This is a breakthrough. Depression I only do what I must do at the very minimum. A huge bag of paper is recycled. This is paper that was shoved on a desk top and some of my file drawers. I still have several boxes down here from when my kids moved me to the downstairs room to prevent falls. I still fall. Fell off the chair yesterday. Getting up was fun and difficult. I did finally make it without screaming the house down in the middle of the night.

My sleep is running for about 3 hours, bathroom break and then up around 5 or 6 AM. This isn’t a bad sleep cycle. I also have a BiPap machine for sleep apnea.

So far today I gathered all the plastic grocery bags and set them on the stairwell for my son. I dusted two large pieces of furniture and took everything off them and dusted them.

I checked my blood sugar. Still way out of control. My doctor is not concerned. He never has been and that is why I got where I was. If I stay manic I will take better control, as long as I don’t get overboard with the mania. Right now, it is at a good point. Helpful, not hurtful. I feel happy and even productive.

I have a long way to go. My moods just aren’t stable though. They still fluctuate.

I took my pills, my inhaler, my eye drops and a glass of water.

I am also setting a goal every day. Keeping it so far. I am working slowly on my poll list. I am taking things slowly because I don’t want to send myself into ultra-mania and lose control. All it takes is a push to send me over the brink.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

15 thoughts on “This is a copy of my journal I write for my therapist

  1. ashleycarteryoga

    I don’t suffer from up’s and down’s, but I do suffer from a chronic illness. Sometimes I feel trapped in a body that isn’t mine and I look around my house and wonder “what happened here?” I hope you have more good days than bad, and that you have a good support group. Keep looking for the sun, because it will shine on you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person


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