I have mentioned this stuff before most likely. Bipolar since I was a little girl, anxiety medication since I was an infant. I am 60 now and so 60 years of mental illness. Then I think perhaps another 25 years til I pass from this world. Those numbers really upset me. Besides other problems my life has sucked.
Now that I have passed menopause the hyper-sexuality isn’t so bad since my anti-psychotic works most of the time. I just had a med change and that stopped the mania I was going through every time we tried a new anti-depressant. Between the meds and the menopause that mad desire for sex isn’t as strong. I never learned to control it or even if you can. I went searching for men, any man would do. I often took my life out of safety messing around with strangers.
By the way I don’t suggest it if you can stop yourself. It really is a dangerous route meeting strangers. There is also the chance of disease.
Now in addition to all these strangers I became eventually exclusive with the man I saw for 18 years. To say that experience was wild would be under-saying it. We both were into fetish sex and a lot of you have no idea what happened in those sessions. The more the hyper-sexuality roared its ugly head the wilder we got.
I often felt guilty for having sex with someone else’s husband, but not enough to stop it. We we both over 21 and I never dragged those men into bed. Their choice. I still know it was immoral.
Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh
-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses
-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems