Jittery!!


Several people including my son, best friend and dad have told me to quit googling what is wrong with me and how they treat it and especially the surgery that is possible. All I am doing is upsetting myself and my son says it is bringing out the negativity in me. He is probably right. My mind tends to go to the negative first no matter what. I can’t just think about something and be positive about it.

I think it has helped me understand what might happen and that people have come out of it and recovered for the most part. Having a physical therapist tell you that you should never have back or neck surgery because most people are worse off afterwards sure didn’t help and that was 7 years ago when I tried the physical therapy for my then pinched nerves. Now the physical therapy didn’t help. We moved on to the steroid shots and surgery was not on the table. Now it is.

I hate the wait. Give me all these things that might be and might go wrong and then tell me I have to wait over a month and a half or more for someone to make a decision and of course it wasn’t the person I was seeing in the orthopedic office. It goes orthopedic, pain management and then possibly a surgeon or maybe not.

How is a person supposed to be positive when all this is going on and taking so long for answers. Before the current tests were done surgery was not on the table according to orthopedic office and now after the results surgery is suddenly very much an option and he was able to rush that cervical MRI right through when the results were added to the request. I was barely out of the driveway and the first one took a week. What am I supposed to think?

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (moving posts to other blog and will be deleting this one).

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24 thoughts on “Jittery!!

  1. morgueticiaatoms

    There’s never anything wrong with wanting to educate yourself on what you might possibly have to deal with. The problem with us is our anxiety. We read one person had a bad ourcome, our panic kicks in, and we decide most outcomes are bad.

    Maybe for a day or two you could avoid indulging Googleitis and the panic.;)

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Tessa Post author

      You are right Morgue. Anxiety has certainly reared its ugly head. I am at the point that people can’t convince me that something terrible isn’t going to happen. I don’t even know if there will be surgery and I am freaking out about it. 🙂

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  2. Carl D'Agostino

    Many of us contend with this that and the other. I try to focus on several things only. Eyes, heart, cancer check up one a year and sugar. Everything else must fall into place and I stay off google trying to be my own doctor. The other important things are good measured nutritious eating and having fun with family or hobby.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Tessa Post author

      You have a point, but the pain and numbness of my entire body is hard to ignore. Even with narcotics it barely touches the pain. I can’t ignore it unfortunately.

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    1. Tessa Post author

      LOL, yes I know they could be wrong. I was told directly from a physical therapist that back and neck surgeries rarely work and they can’t fix them with physical therapy. They couldn’t even give me relief that time so I have refused it since. I can’t afford those visits at $40 each and usually a 12 visit course for the neck and then the back. This whole thing has come at a really bad time and with SSDI I can’t afford just the visits let alone the extras. I have so many problems I see a lot of doctors and the copays add up. A couple of my drs give me a break and for them I am very thankful. I hate having to ask thuogh.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
        1. Tessa Post author

          I don’t have a reason to sue anyone at this point. Heck I didn’t sue the surgeon from my gall bladder when there were complications. It wasn’t his fault that my body was tiny and the arteries twisted together so he couldn’t cut the bile duct to make sure all the stones were out. He would have probably killed me. He didn’t take the chance and cut. I am glad he didn’t although several people seemed to think I should have sued. Maybe I don’t understand what you are saying, but suing someone to pay my copays isn’t right.

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