Changing life

I slept all day after a lousy night, in which I couldn’t stop shaking. Dad said I could put the little heater on again. I forgot a whole pain pill time and combined with the lack of arthritis meds made it hard to move. Hours later and I am finally able to move. I didn’t even dress today. I am still in my flannel pjs.

Due to the snow we are not going to brunch again on Saturday. Maybe we will try Sunday.

December 16, 2017

Can’t sleep since I slept all day. I skipped a complete dose of percocets and was starting into detox. Quick got one in as I mentioned earlier.

Later in the day I checked my mail and I had a list of senior and disabled housing (not all subsidized) from the Division of Senior Services. My insurance provided me with a social worker and she asked me about my needs and fears so she gave me numbers and info and then even called them for me. It is a long list almost 2 full pages, but not all of them say subsidized on them and I hope all the ones listed under Gloucester County Housing are covered by the application I already filled out and have a confirmation number for.

I feel hopeful right now even though I know they have waiting lists. They are for seniors 62 (I am 61 til October) and/or the disabled (BINGO). I do dread the thought of filling out tons of applications right now.

It is nice to feel that surge of hope running through me since this bankruptcy has me really kind of down. Hopefully the bankruptcy won’t stop me from being eligible.

I am cooking dinner and writing this at the same time since I can carry the chromebook around.

I contacted Laura, my psych nurse, about changing my appointment and she says I am currently stable enough to wait several months, plus she knows I keep her advised as to how I am feeling.

I am starting to get used to cooking dinner again. I understand the seriousness of my situation and it is starting to sink in. Right now I am cooking bacon and eggs. First time in a long time I cooked the bacon in a pan and will use the juices (fat) to cook the eggs in.

I have been forgetting a pain pill, well actually sleeping through it. I feel the beginnings of detox and take it right away. Sugar numbers have been low and occasionally too low.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog


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