Crazy Sleep Cycles

All my life I have dealt with irregular sleep cycles. There is no rhyme nor reason to them and no predicting them.

If I don’t have plans during the day I don’t care what hours I sleep because I just sleep when I am tired. However with all the doctor appointments and the visits to my dad at the rehab facility I don’t know when I will be sleeping. I am taking naps whenever there is free time as I am feeling so drained and exhausted. It could be partly due to the meds I am taking although they tend to change over time so I can’t pin it to a specific medication.

If I lie down and I am not ready to drop off to sleep my brain just goes round and round and the racing thoughts drive me crazy. This is due mainly to my bipolar disorder. Also due to my fears that something is going to happen and so it runs through my mind non-stop. When I do get to sleep I usually suffer from nightmares. Horrible ones at that. If I sleep more than an hour or two at one time I am usually shocked since that is not normal for me. If I sleep for more than 6 hours straight it is even worse because there are more bad dreams and I am confused when I wake up.

Sometimes I just watch the clock go around and around and around. That is pretty bad also. And I usually fall asleep just before the alarm is set to go off. Nothing helps me get to sleep anymore. I take it when I can get it.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog

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