We all have our crosses to bear. (not religious)


This saying came to mind when I was feeling sorry for myself. I was talking to my sister and after we bared our souls I mentioned that we all have our own crosses to bear. What seems so terrible to me may mean something else to someone else. To me my life sucks and yet when I think about it I know there are others much more worse off. Truthfully that doesn’t make me feel better.

I am in constant pain (chronic for most of my life, even as a child), I have mental issues and though I sort of have my Bipolar under control there is still depression hanging around. Anxiety is raising its ugly head. Stress is also a tremendous pressure and I am in constant worry about my dad and his stroke. Not only do we have to keep him in good spirits, work with his fading memory, and deal with the constant paperwork as we move along this journey.

We just found out that the facility we moved him to for subacute rehab doesn’t have room for him for the 100 days Medicare will pay for. We misunderstood. So if he is improving and needs more subacute rehab care we will have to look for a new facility that will have enough time for whatever amount of time he has left with Medicare and also long term care as well. We can’t afford to have someone come in 24/7, but depending on the amount of care he will need we might be able to keep him in his home with some help. I don’t work, but can’t physically do a lot of lifting and stuff like that. Making sure he eats, trying to keep the house somewhat clean are a possibility if that is all he needs. We could see about meals on wheels or whatever that program is called here. That would be one meal dealt with.

Right now everything is up in the air. We can’t plan anything yet until they assess where he is medically. We were told to apply to Medicaid so it is in place if he has to go to a nursing home. Everything will be sold and then Medicaid would kick in, Where he is at now is $10,000 a month. He is not eligible for assisted living. They require 2 full years of the monthly payment in advance and that amount depends on the level of necessary care. Not an option.

I figured out how to hook up this special antennae to my tv that will pick up the free channels within a 40 mile radius. No cable shows, but I can watch tv now. I even found a game show station. I was happy to see that “So You Think You Can Dance” is one of the channels. There is also an old show channel. Still exploring.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

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