Tenth Anniversary of the April Blogging from A to Z Challenge – Letter A is For Anxiety


Tenth Anniversary of the April Blogging from A to Z Challenge

I have chosen to write for the mental health topic. It is very important to me that we support all those with mental health issues and I personally suffer from a good amount of them myself.

How lucky that A stands for anxiety because I have to admit that committing to doing this every day has me anxious.

The below definition for anxiety was taken from Wikipedia. To read more click here:

Anxiety is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behaviour such as pacing back and forth, somatic complaints, and rumination.[1] It is the subjectively unpleasant feelings of dread over anticipated events, such as the feeling of imminent death.[2][need quotation to verify] Anxiety is not the same as fear, which is a response to a real or perceived immediate threat,[3] whereas anxiety involves the expectation of future threat.[3] Anxiety is a feeling of uneasiness and worry, usually generalized and unfocused as an overreaction to a situation that is only subjectively seen as menacing.[4] It is often accompanied by muscular tension,[3] restlessness, fatigue and problems in concentration. Anxiety can be appropriate, but when experienced regularly the individual may suffer from an anxiety disorder.[3]

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I suffered from Anxiety from infancy on to my current age of 62. As an infant my bottles contained tranquilizers so I could keep the contents in my stomach. As a toddler my anxiety caused me to not only bite my nails, but I bit off the skin around my fingers. When my parents tried to stop me from biting it didn’t work, in fact it got worse. The nasty tasting stuff didn’t bother me and when they put gloves on me I started to yank my hair out and tearing at scabs.

They decided that biting my nails was the lesser of the bad habits. To this day you can tell just how anxious I am. The worse it is the more I bite my skin and not just the nails. I literally bite the skin off my fingers and palms. It hurts, it hurts really bad, but I have no control over it.

As an adult I started on Klonopin for the severe anxiety and panic attacks. The doses were constantly increased to the point of my dose being 6 whole milligrams per day. It sure helped the anxiety and panic attacks, but I can’t get off it. I tried to stop it with help and by weaning off of it slowly, but as soon as I took the very last dose my body knew it wasn’t getting anymore and the reaction put me in the hospital. I spent a week there and now to this day I am back on Klonopin although I did decrease it to 4 milligrams a day. I would not recommend anti-anxiety medicines to people if they can avoid it. I will be on Klonopin the rest of my life.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

4 thoughts on “Tenth Anniversary of the April Blogging from A to Z Challenge – Letter A is For Anxiety

  1. writershilpa

    I suffer from GAD, since some years now. Although, it’s just recently that I knew there was a name to it.
    But, I cannot begin to imagine how you fought with it all these years. It must have been such a difficult journey for you. I, too, have been prescribed medications, but I have discontinued one of them that helped me sleep better. It does take some time for me to be able to fall asleep. I also have a very disturbed sleep, but I don’t want to get used to the medicines, because then I will become dependent on them and that’s something I don’t want.
    Take care, Tessa.
    Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Tessa Post author

      Thanks! As a teenager my mom followed me around with tranquilizers as I couldn’t deal with life at all. Now I have to take care of myself. I hate the meds, but I tried without and just couldn’t do it. Doesn’t help that I am hooked on narcotics as well for all the chronic pain.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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