I can’t begin to figure out which is worse. Mental vs Physical pain.
For my Fibro I get Lidocaine injections in the trigger points and I had to start using Lidocaine patches because I just can’t stand this pain any longer. I get some relief, but I use the patches more often than recommended. I am self-medicating again. I can’t sit, lie down or walk without severe pain. This of course adds to my depression because who wants to live like this forever. There is no cure. There are some things that might at times give you a break, but for the most part I am always in pain.
Yesterday my mood was pretty good, but just as quickly I am back to somewhat depressed. I was in a mixed state yesterday I think and I have bounced back the other way.
I am angry. I want to take it out on someone. Maybe breaking things would make me feel better. I only broke things one time and I have to admit it felt great. I was packing to move as the man whose apartment, my son and I were living in, had taken off leaving almost everything. I came to the box of Christmas balls. It was our first tree and my happiest Christmas. I picked up one of the balls and accidentally dropped it and realized it felt good when it broke. So I took the whole box and one by one I smashed and broke each one.
Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian