Owwiiee! The torture continues!


Now I know he is doing this for my own good and maybe some day I will thank him, but right now I want to go ape shit on him. He is lucky he is my son and therefore a loved one because my doctors gets it full feelings in my funny/sarcastic way. Or perhaps at the top of my lungs depending on my mood. My psycho-therapist and I have had shouting matches. I am stubborn too so that doesn’t help when I get an idea in my head.

Yesterday’s walk was too much and today I am paying for it. I have severe back pain and spasms. Seems to me I got the last spasms from him making me walk. Now we only walked .4 miles and about 15 minutes the doctor’s requirement, but I can’t start that high. 5 minutes tops the first few days. So my son has decided if I am going to go only 5 minutes then I have to do it every day no matter what. I don’t see it that way and I count the walks through the grocery stores and the hike from the car. He doesn’t.

Now that he is a certified personal trainer I am really in trouble. He had to study nutrition with that and so my diet is under siege. Now I know I should eat better. I am overweight and have Diabetes Type 2. I know from experience that losing just 20 or so lbs can make a difference in my blood pressure and glucose numbers. I need to lose 120 lbs to get back to my regular body weight for my size (super short).

Now one of the ways the fibro doctors think helps the pain is to eliminate carbohydrates, white flour products (I think there is something else, but have forgotten it) and gluten from your diet. There goes everything I eat. I hate foods that are GOOD for you. Really hate them and add that to my compulsive eating which is of course everything that is bad for me and I eat from boredom, pain or whatever. I have no self control in a depressed state for sure. I don’t care! Manic I am more apt to follow the daily recommended diet.

Now the good thing about this is that I have a guardian now, which I really needed. He doesn’t buy my excuses and he knows that most of them are excuses. I will admit that. I am good for making excuses. I am also lazy, undisciplined and used to people leaving me alone. When your son lives with you it doesn’t work that way.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

11 thoughts on “Owwiiee! The torture continues!

  1. FLO

    Someone loves you and wants your health to improve so he can have you with him for years and years to come.
    I am working on five minutes a day, every day, too. In a week or two, we should both increase to six minutes. What do you say?

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    1. Tessa Post author

      Good for you Flo. I know he loves me and wants what is best for me. I meant it when I said I need a guardian though. I need someone to gently encourage me. It has to be someone close so that it means something.

      You know when spring/summer gets warmer and maybe you would want to try and walk in a park with me. We can help each other. Sometimes I go there right after we leave Friendlys when the weather is nice. There are benches, ducks and of course a small lake in the wooded area to walk. Think about it.

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  2. mysticallunarose

    Vent here all you need and take a deep breath. Your are so lucky to have this great support system and a free trainer to help you make thsese changes. While doing it right and the healthy way. Jump on that wagon and get’er done. It’s gonna be a long and hard road you vent, scream and yell here all you need to and we will still enjoy your writing afterwards I promise. Good Luck. Work in progress Mystical Luna Rose.

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    1. Tessa Post author

      Thanks! Venting is necessary. I even checked my blood sugar today. My dr insists I do it and I hate stabbing my finger although I will hate an insulin needle worse. 🙂

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  3. Raymond

    Oh I can feel that spirit of your son too. He is just too good then and one day both of you will be rewarded. You will gain health and beautiful body while he gains knowledge and money too and of course if he can apply his knowledge that will lead him into a healthy life as well.

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  4. Zoe

    I am totally going to pass on the news about carbs and gluten to my mom. We recently had Chinese takeout and she’s had a flare up. Is there anything else the fibro docs recommended as far as diet? How about diary?

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    1. Tessa Post author

      Maybe I will do some research on Nutrition I did once, but never wrote it down and I have been hearing more and more people talking about it and how much better they feel. A diet is always a good thing because it will help you pinpoint certain foods and how they make you fee. Also eliminate Caffeine. Most fribromites are vitamin D deficient I was recommended to take 5000 units of D3 and I am back in rich levels of that vitamin now.

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    1. Tessa Post author

      I have a terrible sweet tooth and it is compulsive. Right now I have a terrible continuous feeling of hunger. I have binged eaten before, but it was all in my head, this is real hunger pains. I was told by psych nurse that it was probably the prednisone I was on. It is done now, but things aren’t changing.

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