Week #5  Prompts: 

(Note this week’s suggestion came from Sophienaylor1 of “Girl vs. World” brought up eating disorders which by all means is a subject worth bringing more attention to.  However, I’m going to break this into (2) separate questions for Prompt #1).

Prompt #1  (Questions)

Question #1  If an eating disorder isn’t about food or weight, what is it all about?  And, what has it done to you personally? I think it is about control. When I was a child I was a very thin child up till I got pregnant of course, but that was different. My mother kept her bird eyes on me and if I put a pound on she took away my food until I was back to where I was. This was constantly happening and I think she is the cause of my eating disorder. When I got married and on my own, I was determined no one else would be in charge of what I ate. She did not do this to my sister and I don’t understand why she did it to me only. We are built the same and just like her. She was taking my food away, but she was heavy, much heavier than I ever was at that time in my life. The result was that I can’t control my eating and I am diabetic on an insulin pump. I need to lose weight, but the insulin puts weight on and now the Lyrica if I continue it will also put weight on. Plus I eat too much of the sweets I shouldn’t have because of my diabetes. I tried overeaters anonymous for a while, but I didn’t find it helpful for me. Losing weight would help many of my conditions, but it doesn’t seem to be happening.

Question #2  What is the most difficult thing to handle with your disorder?  (This applies to everyone). Having people tell me I shouldn’t be eating something when I obviously am not hungry since I am so heavy. At times I go through binging times and I would eat as if I was starving. It’s embarrassing at times. My sister is still struggling not to give into the eating, but she is getting heavier all the time. All that fighting and we don’t get anywhere and we both have one daughter who is fighting the weight gain like us, both had children. All were thin as children. One of the two that are still thin, one has had 2 children and doesn’t fight the weight as much, the other has no children yet. Part of it is mental and part of it is our body shapes from our genetics. My other daughter who has been fighting hard to lose her baby weight is pregnant again and 40 years old. She thought it was hard before, but she will most likely find this time around worse.  

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Prompt #2 (Photo Prompt)

(For visually impaired, this is a picture of a woman holding up a mirror in front of her and the reflection is that of the back of her).

She is hiding from her true self, It means she is looking inwards.