Category Archives: anti-depressant

My blog is starting to slide away into the ether.


At one point I was in a much better place and my blog was growing. I wrote many posts a day as well as a devotional every day. I wrote thankfulness posts, etc. There were numerous stories and poems on my other blog. I still have 2 and the addresses are at the bottom in my signature.

Now my blog is slowing dying. I have some regulars still and I appreciate you guys hanging around even though I find it difficult at times to follow many blogs. I still get new followers, but I feel as if I am letting them down as well. I have to change things if I want to save it. It is so easy to just give up and I don’t want to do that. I worked hard for these 2 blogs only to let them die.

I am sure I have turned people away with my constant whining about my physical pains. They are far worse than my mental at this point. My bipolar is fairly stable and my panic and anxiety, though still around, are calmed some by the meds.

What to do about 2 dying blogs is my current problem. I am sure people are tired of reading about my health issues. I know I am tired of living through them and complaining about them sure isn’t helping me any either.

I miss my blogs, the old ones, the ones that people enjoyed reading because they were more than just my whining.

I definitely thank all of you or are standing by me and still here and those of you who are new I hope you can find something of interest to keep you coming back.

I have been sinking for a while and just not noticing it. It is time to bring these blogs back on board and give the people something worthwhile.

Comments are welcome. If you have a comment about what is happening here don’t be afraid to share it with me. Perhaps it is not too late to save my blogs.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

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Negativity be gone!


This is a bad time to be working on my positivity. I know I didn’t want to blame my bipolar for everything that is wrong with my life, but I am sinking deep into a depression. My mood stabilizer isn’t working on the mood swings. I am still saying my mantras of “I am” and trying to not think negatively.

I am happy.

I am healthy.

I am prosperous.

I am content.

I am going to find housing that fits my needs.

I am so tired of sticking myself with needles every day. Some really hurt, although most don’t. Today my glucose readings were super high including my fasting sugar. If I eat three meals the last one is in the early evening. Too late obviously, I am not going to get up early to eat in the early morning either. So might only have 2 meals a day.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

Healthier dinner


Ok so dinner was closer to healthy than normal.  Also low carbohydrate and high protein.

I had dark meat chicken (rotisserie), raw broccoli with just a little Italian dressing to dip into and cheese.

My day is later than normal people so that was technically meal # 2. Still have one to go.

I just had an hour consult with a nurse from my insurance company. Learned some new stuff about insulin and taking it. These consults are free. We also talked about mental health and my medications and treatment.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

My fridge is lower carbohydrate now and more healthy


I have fresh vegetables including broccoli (Danny Ray is saying “I told you so LOL”). Meats, high in protein (good for diabetics) and no carbs.

One of my problems with the insulin is that my meals must be more regulated. No eating, munching whenever I feel like it. Will be good in the long run and may even lose weight, but driving me crazy right now.

My fitbit announced at 2PM that I had hit my walking goal for the day. My goal is still low. It is just under 2000 steps per day right now. May be time to raise it.

My antidepressant is still working except for the mood swings (manic right now, or maybe hypo-manic) and I am sleeping too much still. Appointment tomorrow. She might lower it or raise the mood stabilizer. This has been the best one so far aside from the initial reaction to the Cymbalta which lasted 8 months.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

Sometimes I wish I could just vanish…


As those of you who might have been reading the few posts I have posted lately know, I am in bad shape physically and mentally. This has been exceptionally worse the last few months.

I have been fighting my Diabetes and currently it won. I am now insulin dependent and still high. I am fighting it tooth and nail. And truth is that the prick of the blood testing is worse than the prick of the insulin pen needle. That being said I still have to prick myself 8 times a day if I follow the schedule (and I don’t always). I am nowhere under control even with the insulin.

My current antidepressant is finally working. I am out of the deep depression and I sleep (a lot still) without sleep medicine. I worked on my room this weekend. What a change and it hit me, I am not depressed. It is funny feeling when the realization takes over.

The biggest problem is physical. I have been sick for about 4 weeks straight. I have been to the ER to be rehydrated after a severe stomach condition (still have it a little bit and so will be seeing a gastroenterologist Tuesday). The food I have been  eating causes pain and other stomach issues. I have gone through bronchitis twice, gone away and then came back.

I could barely get out of bed because of one thing or another.

Right now I am not as bad. Maybe I will hang around longer this time.

Miss you all!

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

 

Diabetes runaway, 500 5 hours after lunch, 300 this morning fasting.


Not only that I am suffering bad stomach problems which I finally had to use the Zofran for nausea. I get pains after eating.

I am sleeping better with just the Antidepressant Remeron, but not as well as the first 2 days. I slept last night from 12 midnight to 5 AM this morning. Finally decided to get up since I am not tired or groggy. The sleep aids always made me so groggy all day I stayed in bed.

Ooops lost my focus and forgot what I was doing. My stomach has hurt for hours now. At least the pains are lessening.

Tomorrow I see the endocrinologist and see what his next brainy idea is. Nothing working so far,

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

Antidepressant and sick again


This antidepressant remeron is supposed to be a sedative too. Always a problem for me because I react the opposite. I wanted to stop, but she had forgotten that I take an OTC sleep aid and at a high dose. She made me double my dose of antidepressant and stop the OTC sleep aid. I have been up all night to late morning, early after aftersoon since I have been taking the the sleep aids with the new antidepressant.

I was shocked. I fell asleep early last night, slept all night to mid afternoon when my son woke me up. Maybe she was right. I have to let her know how it goes last night and the next few days because I will need a new prescription since I will run out doubling them.

I am also back on another antibiotic, cough pearls, a steroid and a rescue inhaler for the wheezing, sore throat, terrible cough and congestion in my chest.

I am so tired of this.

 

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com