Category Archives: Book

Chapter 4 of Book “Government Property – a Memoir of a Military Wife” is published.


 

 

Chapter Four

Another Baby, Girl or Boy

So far, it had been a monotonous summer. Every day the high temperatures were draining, and the sun was frying me to a bright red. I do not tan. I burn. During our honeymoon in Virginia Beach three summers ago I had a sunburn which turned into sun poisoning. From day one, I could not leave our hotel room as just the heat, even in the shade, hurt my sunburn.

So to a woman who was seven months pregnant and huge, and with a toddler under two years old, having to sit outside every day with the toddler was sheer torture. There was no air conditioning in our home on base. Neither of us wanted to have to be inside where it was hotter.

Every day I had to take my toddler outside so she could play in her wading pool. One day I had an entertaining idea. I went over to where she was splashing in her pool and climbed in and sat down. I used a bucket to pour water over my head and body, especially my huge belly. She laughed and started pouring water over me as well.

The neighbors were starting to stop and gawk at us. We were in the front yard, so it was open to everyone. It felt so good that every day we were sitting in the pool. I was able to cool us both off and entertain the neighborhood at the same time. They got used to seeing us sitting in the pool.

I didn’t buy a maternity bathing suit. Maternity clothes were so expensive. I made most of my maternity clothing or bought it at the thrift shop on base. Or as I just remembered, I borrowed my mom’s maternity clothes that I used to wear as an unpregnant teenager because I loved the styles. I had some material that had been laying around from the outfit I had worn to go and see Andy when he graduated from boot camp. It was small black and white checks. I had sewn a top that was made with lots of elastic and was like a tube top with a skirt sewn on to the bottom. It worked great as a summer top or to use when we were sitting in the wading pool.

The problem arose when we went to the beach with our best friends, Charlie and Kim. I usually didn’t go in the water as I hate being pulled under or thrown around by the waves. So, I wore the top with a pair of shorts as my bathing suit.

I decided to go in since everyone else was. I got pulled under and choking, surfaced, and stood up. The water had stretched the elastic and made the skirt heavy and the next thing I knew it was down around my hips under the baby bump and our friend, Charlie, happened to be staring right at me. I was so embarrassed and dropped back into the water trying to pull the top back up and over the baby and my breasts. I may be an exhibitionist, but not to the point of nakedness, especially in front of people I knew. The other people there I would never see again, but we were close friends with Charlie and Kim. I struggled with the waves and the top and managed to get it up to the point that I was mostly covered. I got out of the water fast and wrapped my towel around me.

I went back to the wading pool until summer ended and it cooled down some. That may have been the last time I ever set foot in the ocean. I hated the sticky feeling and the sand that managed to get where it didn’t belong.

Since I was working, my fellow friends at work had set up a shower for me at the officer’s club. They thought they were secretive, but I knew what was going on. Every time I walked up, and they were talking, they all shut up and looked away. I would have had to have been dumb and blind not to figure that one out. I could have used that shower for my first baby, but hey at that point I would take it. We never did have much with the first child, and most of the clothes were from yard sales, so I got some new baby stuff with this one. We still had all the baby stuff from the first child, and this made for some new things to add to it. As she outgrew clothes, I packed them away. We were still planning on having a third child, and so nothing was given away.

This brings me to her due date. The doctors had decided she was due on a particular day in October. I went into labor with her quickly as she was the second child. I went to work that night, the day before she was due. I worked at the Officer’s Club (which I will describe in various other chapters). I could keep working as the hostess; I just had to stop waitressing. I came home that night and our friends, who would be watching our older child, had just left when the labor pains started. We had to wait till they got home and call them to come back and get our oldest daughter as I was in labor and I had to get to the hospital.

We arrived there after midnight, making it my official due date. When asked my due date and I told them it was today, those nurses had the nerve to say to me that I couldn’t possibly be due that day because babies do not come on their due dates. What kind of stupid reply was that one? Babies do come on their due dates all the time. I was in terrible pain and tired of arguing with the nurses.

Finally, the records were brought upstairs from the ob/gyn section of the hospital for the night deliveries. The nurses pulled my file, and finally, they had to agree that it was indeed my due date. I wasn’t dilated yet, but she was the second baby, so they didn’t send me home. They made me walk the hospital floors until finally my water broke and I could be set up and put to bed and start the proceedings for a delivery.

I didn’t have anesthesia. As I said, I had all my children by natural childbirth. It hurt a lot, but I was more afraid of the needle for the anesthesia than I was of the pain from the birth itself. My first child took 36 hours of labor and was 6 pounds 9 ½ ounces and, this one took 4 and a half hours from start to finish and weighed 7 pounds 15 ½ ounces. She was a lot larger than her sister had been.  A pound and a half is a big difference when it comes to babies.

The second child was born in October of 1979 five days before my birthday. Our two kids were both born around one of our birthdays.

I want to thank Mws R Writings and Paula Light from Light Motifs II


You both came to my rescue and although you both gave me suggestions for a civilian life title I have chosen Paula’s “From Pancakes to Prozac – A Memoir of a Disturbed Housewife.” This is perfect Paula. And I did start out my psychiatric journey with Prozac, which was a disaster.

Now the next part is figuring out how to represent my childhood. It was fraught with psychiatric episodes from birth and they didn’t talk about it in the 1950s so that was left for me to stumble through although my mother had some kind of anxiety meds that went in my bottles so I could keep the milk down and then she was always on hand watching and had that little white pill waiting if I needed it which I did quite often. My whole life was traumatic and chaotic.

Some suggestions that I came up with for my childhood blog that doesn’t necessarily make sense are:

Afraid of my own Shadow

My Two Cents

Stumbling into adulthood

Rock the Cradle

Beyond the Cradle

The Cradle and Beyond

Manic Mondays (probably being used in some ways since it is a song title)

It’s all in my Head

Thanks again and if anyone else has an idea don’t be afraid to step up. I am open to other ideas.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

Help! Have a few writing questions.


This is about writing, but anyone can give their opinions.

My  blog book is named “Government Property – A Memoir of a Military Wife vs a Civilian Wife.” Now technically my title is military only and therefore I wonder if I should just do the military wife section (which is very small) and not include the civilian wife. I would have to do a separate piece for that one and then, of course, I already mean to do my childhood memoir separately.

Suggestions, please.

What do you all think? Should they be broken up more? Memoirs are small pieces of your life and not like autobiographies for those that don’t know.

That would also mean a new title for the civilian part. If you have an idea I am listening.

Also, have to come up with a name for the childhood section. I figure something to do with mental illness since that dominates my life.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

I won NANOWRIMO


I had to lower my goal to 25,000 words. I can’t stand to sit in this chair anymore. It isn’t helping my pain. So I have now won. That won’t work in November where it is a flat 50,000 words. I will try to pre-prep for November like a lot of people do. That way I can dive right in. The current plan is to do my childhood memoir. Which will be even harder to remember as it is further away in my memory. That might not work so well. I have a few fiction pieces I can work on instead perhaps.

I have to make a decision and set up the pre-prep either way.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

Halfway through NANOWRIMO


For any of you who noticed my absence, I have been busy writing my memoir on NANOWRIMO. I have 25,001 words so far. I did lower my goal to 40,000 since I doubt I will make 50,000 words. I really pushed myself in the beginning, but I am wearing out. May lower my word count goal a little more. That way I can win which is allowed in the camps. It gives you a sense of accomplishment. Some people only have goals of a half-hour a day. That isn’t much and doesn’t specify any amount at all.

It will need lots of editing still before I post it on my blog, but the first 3 chapters are still up there.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

Chapter 3 of Government Property has been posted.


Chapter 3

Chapters 1 & 2

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

For my new readers and those that might have missed it, here is Chapters 1 and 2 of my book


I am writing a memoir. It won’t be published in the standard way. I am planning on publishing it here on my blog for all to read. The future may change things, but for now, this is the way I am going.

So far I have written and rewritten due to trademarks and copyrights of the Marine Corp. I had to change everything to generic or I had to find out how to get a license or even if they would give me one. They trademarked all terms, sayings and even base names and even the simple word Marine. Rather than a legal hassle, I rewrote it to be generic. It also meant changing some of the story and the title.

Click here to go to the table of contents for “Government Property – a Memoir of a Military Wife and Then Some.”

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com