What do you consider is the most perfect food for you? (It can be your favorite food to something extremely healthy.) I would eat tons of ice cream, but my diabetes blood sugar numbers will not allow it. So health wise I love seafood, most of it and have learned to eat it broiled rather than fried.
Are you focused on today or tomorrow? If I can pry my mind from the past it is focused on the future. I can’t stay in today.
If you could interview one of your great-great-great grandparents, who would it be (if you know their name) and what would you ask? I have forgotten the first name I had for her, but she was a full blooded Native American and I would love to know more about her life.
What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination. I appreciate everyone who has prayed or wished me well during my recent problem with severe pain and possible surgery. This place is just like a family.
If you were given the opportunity to ride in a helicopter would go? Although I would love to I have severe motion sickness and can’t even ride in a car sometimes without terrible nausea. That would have to be a no most likely.
What are some of your favorite type of proteins to eat? (meat, seafood, eggs, cheese, nuts), since going low carb I haven’t had much red meat even though it has no carbs. I eat bacon and eggs almost every day due to low carb diet.
What would be your preference, awake before dawn, at dawn, or awake before noon? Awake before noon or later. I am not a morning person.
What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination. I appreciate the support of my family as I go through this problem with my back and neck being pinched, the numbness and the stenosis of my spine.
I have been doing my best not to complain about the pain. The family is tired of hearing it and think I use it as an excuse to get out of things. Maybe they are right, but it doesn’t change the pain any. I have been trying to distract myself with writing poems, working on blog. cleaned some of my room because Dad told me to and reading some of the blogs online.
I even went to a football game for my grandson and didn’t mention the pain and how sitting in the bleaches hurt. I just watched the game as much as possible and shut up. I promised the family I would stop pushing them away so that is the reason I went to the game. My grandson didn’t even get to play. My ex-husband was there which still sets my blood to boiling (so much for forgiveness yet), but he was involved mainly with our grandson the Marine who leaves tomorrow for 2 years in Okinawa, Japan. At least he is not in Afghanistan.
I am trying to remember some of the good stuff from when I was married. I am trying to forget the bad stuff, but it sure is hard. More bad than good.
My blood sugar numbers are all over the place. I have no control whatsoever and they say it is the pain and stress causing it. I can hardly wait for the high numbers from the steroid shots.
Tomorrow I have my appointments with the dietician and the nurse at the Diabetes center and then my psycho-therapy appointment. I go every weeks. Lately it has been very emotional.
I blame so much on the bipolar disorder, but it is only part of it. I have lost most of my inspiration in life. Granted I never had much to begin with, but my writing is suffering, my blog is suffering. My family life is suffering and I just started to make amends with my children. I don’t want to die old and alone with no family.
I started the amends process last night. Lots of crying among us, but a start has been made and I have to admit my son is probably right when he says I am looking for attention. That I don’t feel real without it. I need validation.
Others suffer from things worse than me and go on with life. I use my mental and physical health as excuses. I am intuitive and I know things and could have made a great counselor if I had felt the need and desire.
I want to make a difference in people’s lives as well as my own. I have to start with me for the most part.
I need to bring God back into my life. I have even pushed him into the background. Blaming him for my misery. Life isn’t easy and getting back on track will take some work, but TESSA CAN DO IT!