Category Archives: Feelings

Diabetes Chronicles 1

Those of you who know me well, know that I have Diabetes Type 2, Insulin Dependent. I have had the Diabetes for about 20 years and didn’t care. I was in denial and ate what I wanted and now I find myself on insulin.

I started the insulin in June of 2017. I never thought I could inject myself as I am deathly afraid of needles, but I learned injecting myself was a lot less painful than sticking my finger for the blood checks. I do blood checks around 4 times a day or more if I have a low reading and I give myself injections 4 times a day. With each meal and one long lasting one at bedtime.

The biggest thing with this disease is following a low carb diet. Considerably lower than the American Diabetes Association recommends. They have not updated their medicine and diet guidelines despite all the new research out there that the lower the carbs per day the better off we will be and some of us eventually get off meds, lose lots of weight and get more normal readings and A1c readings.

I belong to a FaceBook group and they are adamant in this way of eating (WOE) and it really does work. It is a shame though that so many people are avidly following the ADA and dying young or losing limbs, or eyesight or having damage to their other organs.

I am following a diet of less than 50 carbs per day (LCHF), not meal as the ADA recommends. They recommend 45 carbs per meal and 15 grams per 2 snacks per day. Though 50 is the highest they recommend per day in this group most eat less than 20 grams per day. The Keto diet. If nothing else I follow the Low Carb High Fat diet and no I don’t want to discuss how the fat is or isn’t bad or any other parts of this way of eating. Read up on Keto diets and low carb high fat  if you are interested. If you want to join the group, I will be happy to give you the name and you can join the group and get all this information much better than I can explain it.

I just had to go back to the basics. I wasn’t getting the results that others were and I was still struggling with the sweets.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems (no longer canceling this blog, just not adding new work to it, sign up for for the new posts).


Religious Devotions – November 8, 2017 by Teresa Smeigh (This is a repost and a message I need to remember)


He Died on the Cross For Us

I will follow wherever you lead, my Lord!

By Teresa Smeigh

This is something different. (Part dream, part reality, I was bullied as a child)


The beautiful little fairy/pixie got dressed for the morning at school. She dreaded this because the other fairies were so mean to her. She was freshly cleaned and nicely dressed, but they still didn’t like her unless she let them copy her schoolwork.

She flew over to the area where they held school and settled on a branch as far away as she could while still being able to hear the teachers.

The murmuring started among her fellow fairies. “Give us your homework, NOW!” they yelled in unison. They grabbed her and held her down trying to get the homework from her.

I couldn’t watch the poor fairy being bullied anymore and I stepped in, lifted my arm and prepared to save the poor thing.

“Wait! Vengeance is mine,” sayeth the Lord! (Romans 12:19)

I lowered my arm, ashamed at what I had planned to do. I was just as bad as the other fairies.

(“I heard the shout loud and clear – I was awake by then. Jesus was reminding me of the bad thoughts I had for vengeance and reminding me it was his job.”) I tried to punish my ex-husband for what he did to me, but the Lord was reminding me it was not my place to do the punishment and I wished he had gotten there sooner and not let me try to punish my ex-husband. I hurt others in the process.


Dear Father,

Thank you for reminding me that vengeance is yours. It is not my job to punish anyone. Sometimes I need reminding.




The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you!

I Corinthians 6:23

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems (no longer canceling this blog, just not adding new work to it, sign up for for the new posts).



Cooking With Fibromyalgia & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – By Adrienne Dellwo

When you have fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, cooking poses a lot of challenges—standing in the kitchen can cause pain and wear you out; problems with short-term memory and multi-tasking make it hard to follow the steps of even a simple recipe; and it’s easy to get frustrated and overwhelmed with the whole process.

It can be tempting to avoid it altogether, but that’s not realistic for most of us. Sick or not, we have to eat. Because many of us with these conditions need a specially tailored diet, or at least feel better when we eat healthier, cooking is essential.

Fortunately, there’s a lot you can do to simplify cooking and ease its strain on your body.




Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems (no longer canceling this blog, just not adding new work to it, sign up for for the new posts).

The wonders of a “tiny house”

Long before “tiny houses” became the thing, we had our own tiny house, a travel trailer (this is not the trailer we had, we had a pull along). It always amazed me how much we could fit inside that trailer along with our family of 5.

The older I get and the poorer I get (I am 61 years old and living on a very small Social Security Disability check with no savings), the more losing my current home (living with my father who is 85) scares me. “Tiny Houses” are a possibility, but even they can be costly. Much research and savings will have to take place in order to afford one and where to put it or where to buy one.

The size doesn’t bother me. I currently live in one room and borrow the bathroom and kitchen. I wish these had been around while I was still working and could possibly afford one. I do need something that is one floor though. Climbing stairs or ladders is not possibly for me at this point in my life.

If I lived in a warmer climate (NJ gets cold, very cold), I could look for a year round trailer to rent in a camping trailer park. Our travel trailer was great and had plenty of room and even more so if it was just me.

A “tiny house” is on my list of possibilities for a home in the very near future.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems (no longer canceling this blog, just not adding new work to it, sign up for for the new posts).

About “Tessa Can Do It! Positivity is Catching!”

As I have announced I am combining my 2 blogs into one. All of my writing will still be  part of my blogging, but it will just be on one blog. The original writer’s blog will still be there, there just won’t be any new work added to it, but there is plenty there to read and most of my life stories are actually on there under non-fiction. Another reason I wanted to have just one blog.

The more I thought about it the more I realized that “Tessa Can Do It” describes everything I write about so why have more than one blog. Plus trying to figure out what to put on which blog was becoming annoying. Whatever it is, Tessa Can Do It!

I was writing for International Bipolar Foundation, but I finally quit. They are rude, they don’t bother to answer emails. I write for them for free, but they can’t even take the time to let me know if they are interested in the article post or not. If they don’t want it I can certainly use it on my blog. Mental health is a large part of my life and I write my own posts on it besides finding info online to share about mental and physical health. I don’t need to deal with people who are as far as I am concerned, rude. They started out ok  and then started going downhill, changed staff and got worse. When you use free articles as the mainstay of your blog, you treat those people with respect. I personally am tired of it. They don’t deserve my writing. At first it stroked my ego to see my writing on what I thought was a major contender in the mental health field. Now I am tired of being treated without respect. I wrote 3 emails, same subject, several  weeks to months apart and not one of them received an answer. That is rude and non-businesslike. I don’t need the aggravation. My work is back to being my work.

They probably don’t even realize I quit since they don’t seem to bother reading their email. We had a schedule and I gave them plenty of notice that I won’t be writing for them anymore. If they don’t know it, that is their problem, not mine.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems (no longer canceling this blog, just not adding new work to it, sign up for for the new posts).

Am I Psychotic (I have Bipolar Disorder 1) or Do You Believe in Ghosts and Things That Go Bump in the Night?

As I have mentioned occasionally I grew up in a household that believed in ghost, demons and things that go bump in the night. I still do.

However the last time I was admitted to the mental hospital they decided that I have Psychosis along with my Bipolar Disorder 1. They didn’t believe I was really seeing these things. The dancing mahjongg tiles yeah sure, psychotic. But I have seen things equivalent to a Stephen King movie. I wasn’t sleeping. I see, hear and feel things that aren’t supposedly there.

Right after our cat died I swore she came up and curled up on my legs to sleep just like she used to. In my house that was normal. Lots of people think I am crazy. I am sure I will never know for sure if this stuff is real or part of my mental health disorders. Of course that would mean my whole family is mentally ill because I wasn’t the only one affected.

We moved from one house because we had a ghost/poltergeist that wouldn’t stop touching my mom. She was terrified. In the same house I saw things in my room, would not go down in the cellar after the first trip down and had a full size doll whose eyes followed you around.

I also saw a boy in the mirror of another house. I was looking in that mirror and it sure as hell wasn’t me. I almost broke my neck running down the stairs away from it. i never looked in there again. I closed my eyes and felt for the step rail and pulled myself around so I looked away before opening my eyes. I had to shut my bedroom door due to the activity in the hallway at night. This same house had a spot in the kitchen that the animals would not cross over at certain times. Their hair stood straight up. SOMETHING was there.

We weren’t allowed to have a Quija board due to things happening with it. My parents forbade us from seeing the “Exorcist” as they were afraid we would draw the demons in similar to the Quija Board.

Now we get to last night. As an adult in this house I have seen, heard and felt things. It has been a couple of years since I saw or heard something. A man calls my name loudly, I yell what because I don’t want to see. Nothing is there, but he calls me over and over. Once it was female and I wondered if it was my deceased mom.

People have told me that God will call people when he wants their attention, although there is no actual conversation.

Last night my father told me to look up magic and the spiritual realm on youtube. He was telling me how some of those magicians claimed to be hooked up with the darkside and all their programs/signs were covered with demons. Well I started to watch it and soon I had had enough of it. I was seeing things that couldn’t be explained.

Well while trying to sleep a male voice kept calling my name over and over and waking me up. I told my dad about it and he told me not to watch it again. He was sorry he mentioned it because some people are very susceptible to things like that and considering my childhood and my adulthood as well he had a point. I had wicked dreams and I was actually dreaming of falling and hurting myself and I was feeling the pain. I could barely pull myself out of bed this afternoon. The last thing I need whether psychosis or real ghosts and demons is to bring them back into my life.

I have believed in the other side all my life even as a young child and now the possibility could be psychosis is the answer, but maybe it isn’t. What do you think?

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems (no longer canceling this blog, just not adding new work to it, sign up for for the new posts).

Pain is Weird

Pain is weird. I was pain-free for a few days and now it is back, but on the other side of my body. I can’t figure it out. I was so relieved there for a few days and boom, just like that, it is back again.

I can’t figure out if too much movement is the cause, not enough is the cause or that there is no specific reasoning behind it,

I have spent the last few days calling the 2 doctors offices trying to get an appointment for the required EKG. I finally got one today at the very last minute before the procedure. Well slight exaggeration there. The procedure is Tuesday, but no time yet and so need Monday to wait for the time. The EKG is set for the last appointment on Friday afternoon. The day they close early.

I will plan on leaving the house early just in case of problems and just wait in the parking lot for awhile and then in the waiting room. I can’t take any issues such as road construction, detours and such. I was hoping to not have to have it. I really felt better than I had for over the last 7 years, but now it is back.

I just made a payment plan for the MRI’s I had and had to sign a paper so luckily my dad agreed to drive it to the post office for me. I had eased off a little on the pain pills and perhaps that had something to do with it.

I am sitting here in pain. Lying down was feeling better. May be up and down all night till bedtime. I have also had bad stomach pains the last couple of days. Not sure which hurts worse.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems (no longer canceling this blog, just not adding new work to it, sign up for for the new posts).