The pain from the withdrawal is horrible. Hope drug # two isn’t as bad. I start the 2nd drug (anti-psychotic) in 1.5 weeks.
This morning I get fitted for my new diabetes shoes. Don’t ask me what the purpose is, but I can finally get a wide enough shoe. The problem is that there aren’t a lot of places my insurance will cover and I have to drive around 45 minutes.
The wind is ripping through the trees surrounding the house. I worry about a tree falling. Had one fall in another house. You can hear it. I didn’t know where it was going to land so I just covered my head and waited for the noise to subside. It was the neighbor’s tree and was headed for our house and our propane tank (could have gone kaboom). The electric wires bounced it off to the owner’s house and they had the damage and I and my house survived.
I’m supposed to be journaling for my therapist that I see weekly now. Haven’t been in the mood. Sort of let the blogs go too. I am trying to get myself together, but the withdrawal of the drugs is a mood breaker. Sometimes I would like to just cut my head off. Though it isn’t the only part of my body suffering more pain than I normally suffer.
Had my 4th sleep study. Still waiting for a mask that fits. They put one on and say perfect, but when I lie down it shifts and sucks.
Yesterday’s experiment with lunch and treat was probably high sugars, but I didn’t check. I repeated the experiment today (I mean the day before) and yesterday. It is 5:30 AM now and technically the next day. This time I checked my blood sugars afterwards. It was 3 hours so they had already started on their way down and it was 364, not good at all.
I went to bed last night at 10 PM and actually slept fitfully, but made myself stay in bed until I fell back asleep. I woke up at 5 AM and had to eat. So I checked my blood sugar and it was 118 and then had a breakfast bowl with my diabetic meds. I have to take my thyroid meds later on when my stomach is empty. I know freshly cooked is better, but not ready for that yet. One change at a time.
Now if I could eliminate the nasty dreams I would probably sleep better. They wake me up, but the anti-psychotic I just stopped taking that cause the extra insomnia is starting to leave my system. I will be staying on the old one I have been taking all along and nothing else until she comes back from vacation in mid-August. That will get it out of my system before starting a new one. Whatever that may be. Running out of meds to try.
I have been binge watching CSI:Miami. I have a crush on David Caruso. I could watch him for hours. Another married man. I need to find a man around here that is not married and wants a relationship. We talked about relationships in therapy yesterday. I am a little afraid of starting over again. I have had nothing, but bad luck with men ever since the disastrous marriage. Never had good luck. So my David Caruso fantasies will have to work for now. Even I know a man is not going to drop in through the ceiling so I have to leave the house to find one. One step at a time. Healthy life first. I choose to be well now. I can’t wait to see how far I get.
Insomnia is the bane of my existence. It affects a lot of things including my Fibromyalgia. One of the causes of pain in Fibromyalgia is the lack of necessary sleep. Our bodies heal overnight while we sleep, but those of us with insomnia and Fibromyalgia have a double whammy. We don’t get the necessary healing time with the little bit of sleep we get. I have insomnia and sleep apnea (cessation of breathing during sleep). I have a BiPap machine for the sleep apnea, but it doesn’t help any especially since the insomnia keeps me awake. Sleeping pills no longer work for me. Even if I fall asleep I am constantly waking up. I am frustrated and in dreadful pain.
I took it this morning and it was just 149. Yesterday’s was 185 and the day before 177, and the day before that was 200. The medicine seems to be working. It still might need some tweaking, but I am seeing progress.
The hardest part is not eating when I wake up in the middle of the night. I always snacked on something. Now I don’t eat after my dinner whatever time that may be. Sometimes it is late and that usually makes the numbers higher. And my last meal did contain carbs. Another reason sugar goes higher in the morning.
Now if I could just sleep. Nurse changed anti-psychotic to morning instead of before bed since it causes insomnia and I already suffer from it. We shall see how it goes after a week doing it this way.
I am at least thankful the medicine for the diabetes is making a difference.