Category Archives: love

Food banks here in NJ – Rehab Facility

Today I went to the food bank. I feel weird going and getting free food, but my low income makes me eligible and at least we have a communal table that everyone puts the food they don’t eat on and that way there is no waste.

Just realized no pasta this month and not much spaghetti sauce. We did go later though. I got fish this time instead of another whole chicken. I need to start eating at home, but with all this running around to the rehab facility where my dad is makes me eat on the run. I got to stop this.

There is someone there preying on the seniors especially. Talked my dad into wanting this hair dyed black again and a haircut. She is not from the facility and she tells them it is free while hoping they will tip her most of what they would have paid the facility. We had to make him understand what was going on and I talked to the social worker there and she gave us the sheet to prepay for a real haircut and we talked him out of thinking that he needed his hair dyed. His grey hair is distinguishing and black hair would look a little silly on an 86 year old man. We filled out the sheet for him and prepaid it.

He doesn’t know any better and my sister had told him to do what he is told, but this we didn’t see coming. We meant cooperate with the nurses and aides. He was giving them a hard time right after the stroke. He is trying so hard to do what makes them happy.

The other day he called me mommy. He was joking, but it was kind of sad that I had to be in the role of parent to my parent.

And then we have those that are trying to make us feel guilty because we had to make the decision to move him into long term care/nursing home after rehab is done. He will need 24/7 care and that is not an option. I wish people would mind their own business. That decision wasn’t easy for us and we shed many a tear over it and still are on occasion.

I am becoming closer to my sister. Shame it had to be our dad’s stroke that brought us together.


Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog

You have to believe it, to see it!

Dr. Wayne Dyer uses that quote above instead of seeing is believing.

Last night before falling asleep I said over and over the “I am” statements. I must not have convinced myself because 5 minutes later my pain increased. Worse than it has been in some time. I have to believe it. Part of me doesn’t. Part of me wants to blame someone else for all my problems.

My faith in God is dwindling right now. I do not believe in him as strongly as I did for a while. What I was afraid would happen didn’t in so many cases, that I should believe more strongly.

I am happy!

I am healthy!

I am prosperous!

I am content!

I am not going to let this stop me. I know there is truth in this and have been successful at times. I must believe it to see it. It makes so much sense.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

I am Strong!

I wrote this as a guest post on Success Inspirers’ World.


I am strong

Because God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.

With that being said,

Sometimes I wish I were weaker.

I am tired Lord,

But I will do your bidding,

As I love you deeply

And more than life itself.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate For Mental And Invisible Illnesses

-Author Of Articles, Stories And Poems

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What is love? (Meatloaf – 2 out of 3 ain’t bad)

What is love? I was married 23 years and I couldn’t tell you. I loathed him, that is what I felt. What a waste of years. Pure hell. Maybe God will guide me to a good guy. I would like to feel what true love is at least once in my life.

Now then there is the married man. I felt what I thought was love for him most of the time until I came to my senses. I was the other woman, not someone he loved. We used each other to be fair. Brings to mind Meatloaf’s song “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad.

“I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you!”

To this day I don’t know what true love is.


Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate For Mental And Invisible Illnesses

-Author Of Articles, Stories And Poems