Category Archives: thankful

Tons of clothes, helping others

I have an over-abundance of clothes taking up room and of a variety of sizes. Always kept them just in case I gained or lost weight and needed them. It has finally come to my attention that I have not touched those boxes in many, many years.

Talking to my therapist she suggested that I use the clothes donation to bless others. I have been feeling unhelpful with my blog. So she suggests that I donate all those clothes and feel better about myself by helping others.

I agreed with her and my dad that I need to get rid of these clothes as losing weight doesn’t seem to be happening. I have been at this weight and size for years. He said if I do miraculously lose weight slowly buy a few things to create a new fitting wardrobe, but to be honest I doubt I will lose weight. The insulin increases weight and my body structure is that of my mom’s. I am shaped how she used to be while alive and there is genetics to contend with.

Might as well clear up a lot of space by getting rid of all of those clothes.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog


Have to find my lost inspiration! Bipolar is just part of me, not all of me!

I blame so much on the bipolar disorder, but it is only part of it. I have lost most of my inspiration in life. Granted I never had much to begin with, but my writing is suffering, my blog is suffering. My family life is suffering and I just started to make amends with my children. I don’t want to die old and alone with no family.

I started the amends process last night. Lots of crying among us, but a start has been made and I have to admit my son is probably right when he says I am looking for attention. That I don’t feel real without it. I need validation.

Others suffer from things worse than me and go on with life. I use my mental and physical health as excuses. I am intuitive and I know things and could have made a great counselor if I had felt the need and desire.

I want to make a difference in people’s lives as well as my own. I have to start with me for the most part.

I need to bring God back into my life. I have even pushed him into the background. Blaming him for my misery. Life isn’t easy and getting back on track will take some work, but TESSA CAN DO IT!

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

Good news without having to fight for it.

Today I was reading my email and my deletions couldn’t be done without deleting just one or reading one. I had marked a huge amount to delete and I hate when it does this.

Anyway I decided to read one and it was my notification of my Medicare Advantage program payment. I have it taken out of my bank automatically.

I was surprised to see just $2.40 on there. So I immediately called Aetna. It was good news. My state which gives me extra care due to the minimal SSDI check I get, had retroactively given me a refund. My new bill is almost $20 a month less. Can’t complain about that. I am thankful for any help I get.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

A refund?? I am thankful.

How often to medical companies refund if you overpay. I thought I did, but I didn’t have proof handy so when they sent me another bill. I called because I was told I was now paid in full. To my surprise they are sending me a refund. The hospital did that too when  my charity covered my recent stay and ER visits. When I was approved I got it back. I am used to fighting for my refunds.

Today I am thankful.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate For Mental And Invisible Illnesses

-Author Of Articles, Stories And Poems

Fasting numbers still high

My fasting number this morning was 216. Definitely still high although better then the 300 plus the hospital was getting. Have a few weeks to wait to see the PCP and whether he is going to do something this time or I have to demand treatment and/or get a endocrinologist. I have so many drs in my life. Half I don’t see right now thankfully, but I need a few more as more and more things go wrong with my health.

Tonight I go to the chiropractor and must remember to tell him that I had a Lymes test done. He is one of the drs insisting I have Lymes Disease. Actually I just called his office and left a message in case I forget.

I do thank the Lord for giving me my life back and for allowing me to continue with his plan for my life.

Praise the Lord,



Stop the whining I ordered myself. (Thankful list May 8, 2016)

I am thankful for my family and WordPress family. All very supportive.

I am thankful for the friend that is helping me financially. Every little bit helps.


The longer I allow myself to  sink into the mud the harder it will be to pull myself out.  However things just keep happening. My eye problem was supposedly healed, but today it has started again. None of the side-effects are going away. Maybe a list of things to be thankful for will help. I know my family is tired of living with negativity.