I can’t possibly imagine what my dad is going through. He survived the main stroke plus multiple mini-strokes before it. At first we were astonished at what he was able to remember. We just passed the 4 week mark and he is going downhill and then uphill and then down again over and over.
Everybody is still talking as if he is going home. I participate, but having trouble really believing it. His memory is getting worse. If he goes home he is going to need someone there with him. None of us including him, my sister or I have the funds for a 24 hour nurse. Will he get well enough to just need someone to check in on him during the day. I doubt there are funds for that either. What if he tries to cook for himself. He will want to drive. I can’t see either of those happening.
They gave him a goal of 4 to 5 weeks to see what is going to happen next. Maybe he will surprise us and make a grand recovery. Not impossible, but highly unlikely. This is a hard time to go through. Not knowing what he will be capable of. I know they have no idea at this time and they did say that he is moving forward so there is possibilities that his recovery might be better than we originally thought. We have days when he doesn’t want to live although I have noticed those thoughts are not being expressed as often as they were in the beginning. He is doing what they ask him to do. He is just going with the flow because that is what they are telling him to do and we told him that he has to listen to the doctors and do what he is told.
Him having a stroke never really crossed my mind. I am not familiar with strokes and I always thought it would be his heart giving out. He had two heart attacks at the ages of 59 and 61. Now he is 86 and his heart is essentially fine. He could stroke out again and they watch him for any signs of that happening.
Hard being strong and putting on the strong personna and not letting him or anyone know how scared I am of this whole thing.
Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian