Tag Archives: God

Tessa Can Do It! She has to…trying not to just give up.


I started this trip at the ER. My first stop after the station was the orthopedic dr. There the original hope he gave me was snatched back and I was back on the tracks leading to pain management with not a lot of hope to travel with me. Appointments are hard to get and I have to wait. The longer I wait the worse it gets physically and mentally. I am finding it hard not to just give up hope that I will ever be pain-free again. I haven’t been for 40 years (and longer if you count my childhood problems), so where’s the miracle cure going to come from? How do I find that miracle I so much want to believe in.

The closer that appointment comes the more anxiety is building up. I have been told by the dr’s office that this train could veer off the tracks to another track leading to a neurosurgeon rather than just pain management out of which I will probably end up addicted to narcotics if the steroid shots don’t work and they weren’t very successful 7 years ago. I still lived in pain, just a lesser amount. You know they make sure you understand that those shots can make it better, make it worse or simply not work. My neck responded for almost 7 years with very little flare-ups, but my back did not respond at all and continually got worse. The chiropractor was supposed to help, but I cannot say he did really. He claimed he could fix all of my problems and without medications. Of course he pushed expensive nutrients, but no prescription medications. I finally had to tell him that he needed either to try something different or our relationship was over because I was worse off after an adjustment and simply suffered to the next appointment. So he tried to be gentler. I went less often and then this whole mess flared into a much worse situation. When I heard I had several pinched nerves I refused to have him mess with them. Part of me said one wrong movement and he could paralyze me. My faith in chiropractic care is not very strong and when you start messing with damaged nerves it scares me a lot.

This brings me to the religious part. I don’t understand what all this means in God’s plan for me. Back to am I being punished for some past sin, maybe one from another life if you believe in past lives (reincarnation)?

I am thankful to be alive, but I can’t find it in my heart to be thankful I am alive to suffer. I know pain is subjective. I know that some people have it much worse than I, but right now I am focused on me and how I feel. I can pray for others and their pain and suffering and I pray for mine, but it sure is harder when the pain is never gone, always getting worse.

Am I feeling sorry for myself? You bet I am and most of us do in this situation except for a few who get past this point without feeling sorry for themselves and have put all their faith in God. This is one of the reasons I gave up on God for 40 years. I don’t understand the suffering that is in this world or the killing either for that matter. What is it supposed to accomplish. I have been told God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. So this proves that I am stronger so heap on the pain?

You know I can’t lie, sit or stand without pain. There is nowhere to escape it. The pain pills are either not working or I am getting used to them and they don’t work as well. I can tell when they are about to wear off. I wake up almost to the hour they are due again.

I still have a week and a half before my pain management appointment. I will run out of pain medicine on that day as well or maybe the day before if I miscalculated which I will figure out closer to the date so I can spread them out if need be.

Tessa Can Do It hardly seems the right name for this blog right now. Will I do it, of course I will, I am stronger than I give myself credit for and for the simple fact I have no choice. I will not take that final step to end my misery because I promised my family and friends I would not do that again. God saved me then, he must have some other plans for me. There will, however, be many tears shed in the next few months or so depending on how things go because sometimes the pain is unbearable despite the pain pills.

God be with me as with you and I pray for any of you who are in similar situations and are dealing with your own pain, whatever that pain may be. God bless us all!!

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (moving posts to other blog and will be deleting this one).

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Heaven (Haiku)


Heaven by Teresa Dean Smeigh July 2017

angels sing sweetly

love abounds everywhere

this they call heaven

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (moving posts to other blog and will be deleting this one).

The video on YouTube about believing to achieve (visualization)


Believing (Visualizing) to Achieve your desires.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

Daily Devotions – May 11, 2017 by Teresa Smeigh


bible-706662_1280

He Died on the Cross for Us

by Teresa Smeigh

Seek Me with All Your Heart

Jeremiah 29:13  You will seek Me, inquire for, and require Me [as a vital necessity] and find me when you search for Me with all your heart.

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A commitment to spend time with God is as serious a commitment as any we will ever make.

The quality of our lives is affected by the time we spend with Him.

Do not become slack in the time you spend with Him because you know he is always available. Make him your priority.

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Dear Father,

I am sorry for the times that I do not make you a priority in my life and do other non-important things. I shall make a commitment to spend time with you every day.

In the Lord’s name I pray,

Amen

Daily Devotions – May 10, 2017 by Teresa Smeigh


bible-706662_1280

He Died on the Cross for Us

by Teresa Smeigh

2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV  We take captive of every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

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No disobedient thoughts from the liar. Do not give in to him. Replace them with the truth of God’s Word.

Jesus takes responsibility for your success as you walk with him. The Father loves you so much He will never let go of you.

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Dear Father,

Please root out the enemy’s lies and replace with your word. Remove the strongholds so that I may walk in your freedom and glorify your name. In God I trust.

In the Lord’s name I pray,

Amen

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

Religious Devotions – March 26, 2017 by Teresa Smeigh (New)


bible-706662_1280

 

He Died on the Cross For Us

I will follow wherever you lead, my Lord!

By Teresa Smeigh

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Psalm 33:20 NIV

We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.

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Sometimes we feel as if God isn’t with us. Remember God is always with you, but sometimes it takes a while for his plan to be revealed.

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Dear Father,

Thank you for your presence in my life. I trust you and the plans you have for my life.

Amen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you! I Corinthians 6:23

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

Religious Devotions – March 24, 2017 by Teresa Smeigh (New)


bible-706662_1280

 

He Died on the Cross For Us

I will follow wherever you lead, my Lord!

By Teresa Smeigh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matthew 28:20 NLT

“Be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God is always with you, day and night, good or bad!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Father,

Thank you for your presence in my life.

Amen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you! I Corinthians 6:23

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com