Tag Archives: Gratefulness

Major Blood Sugar Drop to 50, 70 is considered low


I had a major drop today and felt like I was going to pass out. Glucose tablets weren’t working and I felt worse so I actually ate some carbs which is not recommended by the group I am in.

Now it is 3 AM and my sugar is 233 so I took some insulin and some low carb food to attempt to bring it down some without going too far. It is a nasty merry-go-round sometimes. The endocrinologist doesn’t want me to go below 100 to 170 which is simply too high for a diabetic. It leads to more meds and body damage that you hear about. If you talk to long time diabetics they know that the recommended amounts are too high and cause damage. However, one of the possible side effects with keeping our numbers in check is lows. I was doing really good there for a few weeks now I have an occasional low which usually isn’t too bad, but this 50 was stubborn and refusing to come up at first and then even though I was at 84 finally I still felt like passing out so I had a couple of mini cookies. Eventually it did come up and is now 233. So totally the wrong way and out of control tonight.

I hate playing this game. It is dangerous and we are subjected to damage such as eye loss, diabetic neuropathy,  amputation and our body organs shutting down from high sugars. The trick is keeping them down without going too low. Epic fail tonight.

Add to that the pain I am in. I don’t understand how you can take a higher dose of pain meds and still feel worse than you did on the lower dose. Plus still trying to get my arthritis meds refilled. I think that is part of it. Then of course, there is the lovely Fibromyalgia. It is flaring big time right now.

I am back to wanting to cry again the pain is so intense, my diabetes is already out of control and I haven’t had the steroids yet which are going to raise them super high and nothing I can do about that because those injections are necessary. I refuse to let this diabetes beat me. Diabetics so often die young because of uncontrolled blood sugars, but my doctor wants me to keep my numbers higher to avoid the lows, but if I do that I risk other problems

Oh and I got my EOB on my prescriptions and my fast acting Novolog taken with  meals is over $2000 for 3 months and the slow acting is almost $500 just for one month so $1500 for 3 months. The needles are over $152 for 90 days and the strips are another high number which I have forgotten. If I didn’t have extra help from the state I couldn’t even take them or any meds, Currently they aren’t charging me a copay for the meds at all thank God!

Hopefully my therapist and I will be working on positivity. I need it. Anything at all happens and I immediately go to the negative side. Can’t see the positive til maybe later if things work out which thankfully they usually do.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (moving posts to other blog and will be deleting this one).

Have to find my lost inspiration! Bipolar is just part of me, not all of me!


I blame so much on the bipolar disorder, but it is only part of it. I have lost most of my inspiration in life. Granted I never had much to begin with, but my writing is suffering, my blog is suffering. My family life is suffering and I just started to make amends with my children. I don’t want to die old and alone with no family.

I started the amends process last night. Lots of crying among us, but a start has been made and I have to admit my son is probably right when he says I am looking for attention. That I don’t feel real without it. I need validation.

Others suffer from things worse than me and go on with life. I use my mental and physical health as excuses. I am intuitive and I know things and could have made a great counselor if I had felt the need and desire.

I want to make a difference in people’s lives as well as my own. I have to start with me for the most part.

I need to bring God back into my life. I have even pushed him into the background. Blaming him for my misery. Life isn’t easy and getting back on track will take some work, but TESSA CAN DO IT!

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

The Law of Attraction and Religion


The Law of Attraction cares not whether you are deeply religious or not at all. Works for Atheists and Agnostics also.

It also doesn’t differentiate between good and bad thoughts part of the reason we draw the bad things to us.

I am happy. I am content. I am bringing the good into my life.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

Ask and ye shall receive.


Matthew 7:7 King James Bible


Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

People have commented good and bad about my posting about the law of attraction and mentioning God. Well it is mentioned in the bible. I do not feel this invalidates my belief in our Lord God.

I am mainly following Dr, Wayne Dyer (deceased) and he mentions the bible and God throughout his books and tapes of his speaking engagements. A lot of them can be found on youtube. I just bought a bunch of his books so I can take it slowly and study his words.

I believe that you get what you ask for, the problem being people don’t realize they are inadvertently asking for pain and bad things when all they do is complain about them. Seek and ye shall receive. That is why you must think about the good things you want. Do not dwell on the bad in your life or it will continue to come.

Will it happen right away? Probably not. Will it be exactly what you ask for? Not necessarily as God will give you what he has planned for you and it may not be exactly what you asked for. Life has a habit of working out even though it wasn’t exactly what you asked for.

I am happy, healthy, content in my life.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

You have to believe it, to see it!


Dr. Wayne Dyer uses that quote above instead of seeing is believing.

Last night before falling asleep I said over and over the “I am” statements. I must not have convinced myself because 5 minutes later my pain increased. Worse than it has been in some time. I have to believe it. Part of me doesn’t. Part of me wants to blame someone else for all my problems.

My faith in God is dwindling right now. I do not believe in him as strongly as I did for a while. What I was afraid would happen didn’t in so many cases, that I should believe more strongly.

I am happy!

I am healthy!

I am prosperous!

I am content!

I am not going to let this stop me. I know there is truth in this and have been successful at times. I must believe it to see it. It makes so much sense.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

With God, all things are possible!


I have forgotten this the last few months.

I am well! (I have to quit blaming my bipolar and other health conditions for everything that isn’t right with my world).

I am healthy!

I am prosperous! (I have a roof over my head and food in my stomach).

I am God and he is me! (God sees all and will take care of me).

I have been reading Dr. Wayne Dyer (or actually watching him on youtube). He is religious, believes deeply in God and believes in the Law of Attraction.

What we think we are, we are. Spend all your time feeling sorry for yourself and you will draw the pain and sorrows to you.

Rejoice in life!

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

A refund?? I am thankful.


How often to medical companies refund if you overpay. I thought I did, but I didn’t have proof handy so when they sent me another bill. I called because I was told I was now paid in full. To my surprise they are sending me a refund. The hospital did that too when  my charity covered my recent stay and ER visits. When I was approved I got it back. I am used to fighting for my refunds.

Today I am thankful.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate For Mental And Invisible Illnesses

-Author Of Articles, Stories And Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com