Tag Archives: Mental and Physical Illnesses

Language Impairment in Fibromyalgia and CFS


Language Impairment in Fibromyalgia and CFS

This particular part of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is often quite embarrassing. I worked in a call center and I would suddenly stop as my mind went blank and the simplest words would not come. Now I am making youtube videos and I run into the same problem. I either leave it there if it is a simple and quick fix or I just have to start recording all over again.

The words I forget can be as simple as the word cat. They are not usually long words which you might expect to be a problem. No something as simple as cat can trip me up.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses

New Author’s Website – http://www.tessadeanauthor.com

Author – Old Writing –  http://www.finallyawriter.com

About my life –  http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

I am also a youtuber in the authortube section on writing. See my videos here:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSpNS-6gfJ0s8eD1berLwQg

Must use walker at all times


Doctor says I am a fall risk, duh! I was told to use the walker at all times and that included inside my apartment where I usually hobbled about. Finally getting used to it. I was leaving it all over the place LOL! Most of my falls, although not all of them have been in my apartment.

Started the application process for state aid (medicaid) and what a pain it is. Tons of paperwork. Designed to get you to quit most likely.

Pain management doctor took my Percocets away which I figured would happen. I was thinking of not mentioning what happened, but my daughters told me to tell her. What happened was serious. So she told me to cut them in half and she was going to prescribe Nucynta. Problem is the insurance company is fighting it. So I am in more pain because of the half of pill and if she doesn’t get it approved soon I am going to run out of them and I don’t know if the smaller dose would cause withdrawal or not. Of course, the doctor is not returning my phone calls. Even if I get the Nucynta I have to start out on a very small dose so don’t know how much pain relief  I might have anyhow. Chronic pain sucks.

My children have decided that it is too dangerous for me to live alone. Doesn’t leave a lot of options. None of them have room for me and that leaves long term care in a nursing home or assisted living, but that would be expensive since medicaid will cover the medical part, but not a living facility. And the nurse from medicaid that did my assessment agrees with my kids on the living alone part. I have lived alone exactly 3 years in my life total. The nurse is putting me down as needing help in many areas. Now just have to get through the medicaid part which can take months and constant requests for this or that paper. My sister just did it for my dad who is in a long term care facility for his stroke and dementia. This is a different program though.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

I know what you are thinking – where the hell has she been?


My life was turned upside down and still isn’t completely righted yet.

Not sure what I did write so some of this may be repeated.

Around January 12, I was treated for a urinary tract infection and yeast infection. The start of my antibiotic roll.

On January 20 I woke up and felt really funny. I struggled to the bathroom and was standing by my emergency call bell, but my mind was on the fact that the bed seemed a hundred miles away and still moving. I couldn’t catch it. I looked at the phone, but my mind couldn’t comprehend what the phone would/could do and who should I call in the middle of the night and why. Still forgetting the call button at my side I started that long trek to my bed and reached out to pull the emergency button by my bed and passed out.

Luckily the guard was still on duty. I was non-responsive. He called the ambulance. They struggled to get me to wake up enough to walk to the stretcher since I was in a strange position on the bed and the couldn’t get the stretcher beside me. I remember very little of this day. I was rushed to the hospital. It was freezing out and I had on a T-shirt and shorts and bare feet.

Next, I recall my clothes being pulled off and a burning sensation that I later learned was a drug test. Unbeknownst to me, I was exhibiting drug overdose symptoms and sure enough, they found narcotics in me since I take 4 a day for pain. They started the drug overdose protocol and the Narcan being administered was horrendous. My daughter was watching this and crying. Each dose shocked me briefly into consciousness and then back out I would go. After a couple of doses I was awake long enough to understand that the next dose might very well throw me into withdrawal. However, since my kidneys were shutting down and my blood pressure was under 50 which is very low and dangerous they were more focused on that and they just told me to prepare myself because if I go into withdrawal I am going to be in terrible pain. They were pumping me full of liquids trying to force my kidneys to function but they weren’t cooperating and I didn’t even feel an urge to go. The next dose I got I shot out of the bed screaming in pain and crying about the pain in my chest. They did an EKG to make sure it wasn’t my heart and then went about trying to get me to wake up fully and get my kidneys to function and my blood pressure back to normal or at least higher than it was. Finally, my kidneys started to function and all that liquid was released and pushing through my kidneys. Blood pressure rose some and they decided I didn’t need to go to the ICU. I was put in a regular room with the ICU on standby.

I didn’t overdose on purpose. Due to kidney failure my narcotics were not flushing out so as I continued to take my normal dose they built up and thank God I woke up for whatever reason and realized something wasn’t right and pulled the emergency button before I passed out.

At one point in my life, I tried to overdose and didn’t take enough so that was my wake up call. I sure as hell do not want to do that again. They sent me home the next day with antibiotics for the bronchitis I had. Unfortunately it was very serious and my asthma complicated it and I was back in the hospital for a total of 10 days with antibiotics in my IV and orally. Pumped full of Prednisone which since it was a steroid it sent my blood sugars soaring. Came home on that. Plus all the breathing treatments and a new one and found out they contain steroids, some of them anyhow and my sugars all this time later are still out of whack.

Because of this I have home health care which is helping me apply for medicaid which is help I can really use. Dressing myself and bathing is downright difficult and since I have a bath tub and not a walk in shower I need help. Embarrassing, but I got over it. It is nice having help. Hopefully I will be approved for this long-term with a ton of paperwork to fill out.

So anyway I haven’t been around or up to writing. I am still recuperating.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

Pain, Knee Injection, Psycho-Analysis


Due to my upcoming steroid injection in my knee on Tuesday I had to cut out any pain killer that is an NSAID. If used it could cause dangerous bleeding. So by cutting out my Meloxicam, the pain became worse.

I have spent most of the last few days in bed. Laying down is less painful than sitting. If I had a couch I could sit with my legs straight, but since I don’t have one, sitting in a 4 legged chair or my computer chair is quite painful.

My knee is not the only painful area. My back is still a problem. I still feel my spine moving and popping. My whole body is an issue.

I mentioned that I was losing my therapist and then the whole office was closing down. My last appointment was last Tuesday, well I slept right through it. In a way, I am glad, since that eliminated the emotional part. I figure since I am not in a panic, that things are good and maybe it is time to let it go for good.

I still have my psychiatric nurse who prescribes my medications for my mental issues and is willing to talk if I need it. She does therapy too, but way out of my budget.

I can’t take much more of this pain and need to lie down again. The longer I am without my NSAID the worse my arthritis pain gets. Getting there on Tuesday and then having only a local anesthetic I am going to really be in pain. I can’t be knocked out unless I go to a surgical center or the hospital due to my BMI since I am obese. I have been knocked out with no problems, but new laws won’t allow it done in a procedure center at the pain management office. If what they give me is an anesthetic I would hate to have it without. The pain is tremendous. They tell me it will just feel like a bee sting. I would like that bee to sting them. That is the worse bee sting I have ever had.

My neighbor is driving me home. I drove myself last time. It was possible, but having someone drive you is much more comfortable. My dad used to drive me before he had a stroke.

Can’t wait until it is over.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

Detrimental Habits With Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS By Adrienne Dellwo


Detrimental Habits With Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS By Adrienne Dellwo

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

Question: Can I Keep Working with Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?


Question: Can I Keep Working with Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?

For me, the answer to this was a resounding no. My job, was not physical, but it was mental and the “Fibro Fog” inhibited my ability to think, multitask and learn new things easily. I also had other physical conditions and it was necessary for me to go out on disability. It has been 8 and a half years ago now.

Anyone who has tried to live on government disability knows it is not easy. My pain and mental problems are difficult to deal with, but there is no choice as it is not curable and in my case none of the treatments tried have worked.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Sleep writing again


I just looked at some of my recent postings and I don’t remember writing them. I not only sleep walk I sleep write. Oh and sleep eat as well.

So I will blame the weird posts on my non-wakefullness when posting.

Today is sunny and warm. Of course a few days from now they are predicting snow again.

I joined a writing club to add to my reading club.

Trying to stay out of bed 24 hours a day.

On the 21st of this month I am getting WiFi and cable installed, plus the package includes a phone for the 2 year contract. I am a new customer so I hope this fits my poor little budget. The hotspot on my phone is not working very well and I could do so much more if I wasn’t limited to so much time on my phone for all of the gadgets I have. You run out, it works, it just slows way down which can be a pain on the computer or trying to stream a movie or something. Plus I can watch my shows that I have had to give up. Hopefully they can get my son’s old tv working and connected. It is larger than mine.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Changing pain meds – JusJoJan #31


January 31, 2019 #JusJoJan Wrapup

I have been on Percocets, high dose and not much relief.

After talking to my pain management doctor we have decided to try Morphine which is supposed to be stronger. I haven’t started yet so I don’t know for sure, but hope to start tomorrow. There was an issue with the dose (smallest) not being available. After much debate from the doctor and asking me if I would be willing to cut the next dose up in half we are going to hopefully have it for tomorrow.

This is also an experiment as supposedly I was allergic to Morphine according to the ER. I told the dr and she said the IV brands are much stronger and they probably overdosed me to begin with which she did as she was going to help me for the pain in the next few hours. I hope this works as I didn’t like being allergic to the Morphine. Ambulances can only use Morphine around here and if I were to be unconscious Morphine is the pain reliever they use. Granted I wouldn’t feel it most likely if I were unconscious.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

JusJoJan – Sunday – January 27th


JusJoJan January 27th

I haven’t been reading posts so January is almost gone. I won’t be going back and trying to catch up.

Life is difficult with dad’s stroke and dementia. I had no idea what a stroke does to you. He is DNR (do not resuscitate). I wasn’t happy years ago when my parents told me their desire for this, but they legally made up living wills. When my mom passed 5 years ago I began to understand the sense it made. My mom suddenly was not responding. Even with the DNR it took about 10 days for her to finally pass. No one wanted to see her like that for who knows how long not to mention the immense expense that could arise. I am fine with my dad’s DNR. He is suffering right now and he wants to go and if assisted suicide was legal he would be all for it. Although now he is not really of sound mine most of the time so it wouldn’t be allowed anyhow I am sure. He is living in a long term care center which is just a fancy name for nursing home. He is mad at us a lot of the time because we have to sell his assets to pay for his care. This isn’t easy anyhow as his house is old, outdated and simply needs to be completely re-made over and there is an expensive retaining wall in the back yard fally down which will run from $10,000 to $20,000 to fix. We are not fixing the house up because the government is going to get whatever money we make over the reverse mortgage lien. We are waiting for Medicaid to kick in as it costs us $10,000 a month to keep him there and we, well he, is paying for that.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Chronic Pain – So tired of it!


It has been 2 months since they deadened the nerves in my back. It was supposed to take only 6, maybe 8 months til it worked. It hasn’t although it does occasionally give me a small period maybe even a day without major pain. Nothing they do seems to help me. I am so tired of this chronic pain. It doesn’t give me much of a life, but what can I do but live with it.

I am trying to do things to take my mind off of it. I joined a book club, joined overeaters anonymous and go to bingo once a week. I am also reading more besides the book I have to read for the book club.

I haven’t felt much like writing though and my blogs are just sitting here.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com