Tag Archives: moods


I needed a ride to therapy today since I lent my car to my son since his is in the shop and he had to go to work.

I write a thorough journal for her to read and it is exactly how I am feeling. Makes our sessions better.

My fasting sugar was 348 when I got up. Expected it to be high, but not quite that high. Endocrinologist has me on very little medicine and it didn’t work when my PCP put me on it and it doesn’t work now, plus he eliminated one.

New antidepressant is not letting me sleep, but she just told me to stay on it. She wants me on it for a few weeks, at least 2 weeks. She is expecting it to change and it is making me somewhat suicidal in thoughts. I don’t care if the world ends tomorrow.

I hate the fact that I have lost my major interest in my blogs. I would rather sleep (like that is happening with this new antidepressant). It is hard to build a blog when you have lost interest. I remember my thrill in the beginning. This one is over 2 years old. My writing blog is over several years older.


Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems




My Journal for Sunday – Tessa

December 18, 2016

Went to my weekly brunch with my best friend of about 8-9 years. We had to skip yesterday and go today because of the ice. We usually go on Saturdays.

I have started to be interested in Word games again. An improvement. I am still feeling interested in life and not depressed. Probably more mixed moods.

Getting ready for my grandson’s birthday party. Hopefully all goes well with my ex-husband.


I am home, tired, and ready for bed. It is still early though. Parties of any kind take my strength away physically (upstairs) and mentally.

My ex and I are doing better. Thankfully.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems



I don’t feel like writing…

It just isn’t inside of me to write today. I can write a story usually in 30 to 60 minutes depending on size, but when it isn’t there no matter of coaxing will help.

When it is there I have to let it out. Really strange how that works, for me anyhow.

I don’t know what to do with myself right now. I am bored. I can’t sit still. I have a ton of boxes to go through still, but not much room left and there is still stuff upstairs that I am going to want. I am letting things go, but I am just overflowing with my hoarded stuff.

I need room in my file cabinets and I have 4 drawers worth at least. I used to sort all the medical out and put in files, but it is out of control and I just throw them in piles all over. They are not in any type of numerical/date order so finding anything isn’t easy anyhow. They are mixed up even on one page. Wonder if I should go paperless. I don’t use them for taxes anymore since I don’t make enough to file taxes.

I can’t go paperless with them. Stupid company. No paperless option. I am just going to toss them all. I can get the info online. Same with pharmacy slips.

So I am going through paper and tossing into recycle bag. Not shredding. Nothing too important on the papers.

I am rounding up pics of the kids (grandkids mostly) and putting them in a bag and hanging the newer ones the girls gave me of their kids.

Sun is going in and out. Just wish it would stop at the out point and stay there.

Praise be the Lord,