Tag Archives: Stroke

Dad’s Birthday and the Nursing Home


My dad turned 88 yesterday the 19th. He had a stroke so his mind is often not with us. Dementia has also begun. Visiting can sometimes be rough as he has moments where he doesn’t know who we are or he will mix up the family members so he is confused as to which kid belongs to my sister or me or which kids (the grandchildren) belong to our children. We try to explain the relationships to him, but sometimes it is too much for his damaged brain (due to a severe stroke) to understand.

His body is still very strong considering he doesn’t exercise and is in a wheelchair and he looks good for 88 years old. He looks better than I do most of the time.

Due to the coronavirus there has been no visitation for many months. They had just reopened to visitors after the flu was so rampant. They had one employe with the virus, but they were rapidly diagnosed and removed. Two of the residents were sick and tested, but we haven’t heard the test results. They were isolated from the rest of the residents. Compared to a lot of nursing home environments they are doing well protecting their residents and they keep us advised through text message blasts.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

JusJoJan – Sunday – January 27th


JusJoJan January 27th

I haven’t been reading posts so January is almost gone. I won’t be going back and trying to catch up.

Life is difficult with dad’s stroke and dementia. I had no idea what a stroke does to you. He is DNR (do not resuscitate). I wasn’t happy years ago when my parents told me their desire for this, but they legally made up living wills. When my mom passed 5 years ago I began to understand the sense it made. My mom suddenly was not responding. Even with the DNR it took about 10 days for her to finally pass. No one wanted to see her like that for who knows how long not to mention the immense expense that could arise. I am fine with my dad’s DNR. He is suffering right now and he wants to go and if assisted suicide was legal he would be all for it. Although now he is not really of sound mine most of the time so it wouldn’t be allowed anyhow I am sure. He is living in a long term care center which is just a fancy name for nursing home. He is mad at us a lot of the time because we have to sell his assets to pay for his care. This isn’t easy anyhow as his house is old, outdated and simply needs to be completely re-made over and there is an expensive retaining wall in the back yard fally down which will run from $10,000 to $20,000 to fix. We are not fixing the house up because the government is going to get whatever money we make over the reverse mortgage lien. We are waiting for Medicaid to kick in as it costs us $10,000 a month to keep him there and we, well he, is paying for that.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Strokes suck the life out of all concerned


My dad’s dementia is getting much worse. He isn’t lucid very often.

We just had to go to the hospital as he was not responding and waking up. He WAS awake, but pretending he was not conscious because he was sure the nurse’s and aides were alien monster doctors and they wanted to eat his brains. The last time he wasn’t responding there was something wrong but this time it was strictly fear. He thinks everyone in his facility is an alien and bad ones most of them. An expensive hospital visit because of his dementia. I only hope he doesn’t keep doing this one. An expense for nothing. I understand why they had to send him, but I hope he doesn’t keep doing this.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Long Term Care (Nursing Home) Antics


My dad is in long term care now and is still patient pays while we sell his assets and get the government’s (Medicaid) help to pay for it. The house is a wreck and has a reverse mortgage on it which needs to be paid first so not sure what we might get toward his health care from that. He has an older car and some other assets.

Now we never know what kind of day he will be having when we visit. Sometimes he will refuse to talk to us, sometimes he takes a few minutes to figure out who we are, sometimes he tells us how proud he is that we are (my sister and I) are taking care of him and sometimes he tells us we are taking his belongings and making him stay in this place. Today was a good day. My sister, my aunt and cousin were there and all of a sudden my dad says “if anyone knows of a job let me know.” Dementia is kicking in. We are trying to explain to him why he doesn’t need a job and assure him he will be taken care of. Thankfully dinner came then and we could avoid continuing that conversation.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

He has been talking about Zee and Zeke the aliens that come to him. Finally found out today that they are real people, ones an aide and the other works there. They are aware that he thinks they are aliens. Sometimes you just got to laugh.

Now on the annoying side is all the women there have a crush on him and I can’t convince them I am not his wife so they spend the whole time pointing at me and talking about me. They were really making quite a scene of it today and it’s embarrassing.

 

Family Christmas Party Went Well


The party went pretty well. There were a few strange spots, but for the most part he was in pretty good shape. This will probably be the last one, but who knows. Next year is still a year away and too early to make plans.

My pain is just a little bit better, but improvement is appreciated. I have started reading again quite a bit. I am reading a book to see about joining a book club at the library and there is a writing class I am trying to pre-register for, but her phone number is not working. The meeting is still on the schedule they told me. I need some inspiration to write some more. Just haven’t felt like it.

I am suffering from an eating disorder so have to start working with my therapist about that. This is the first time I have admitted it so step one is completed.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Dementia Is Horrible


Dementia increasing. Never know what he is going to say or do. We are having a family Christmas party tomorrow. Hope he is in a receptive mood.

I am finally getting some relief in my spinal area that has been so horribly painful. Finally having some times without pain, thank God!

Merry Christmas from my son and I!

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Stroke vs Dementia – not a winning combination


My dad is a gentle and kind man. The other day (he is now in long term care) he struck out at a woman who was touching him and he grabbed her arm and threatened to twist her neck if she didn’t stop touching his ears. They called my sister as this is not normal behavior for him, but it took her hours to talk to him and try to bring him back to reality. This is what we have to look forward to.

We have to get his house sold, car etc. as he is almost broke and we are still waiting on the government to come through with his Medicaid to pay for the Long Term Care. He is now cash pay or whatever term they use.

I am not much help as I am still in tremendous back pain. I had the nerves deadened 3 weeks ago, but not helping much yet if at all. I occasionally will get a break, but that is usually when I am laying down.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com