More downsides to strokes.


Just when we think he is settled, has accepted the current and future situation, he throws a monkey wrench into the works. Now he has informed us that they are teaching him to drive so he can drive when he goes home. He had agreed with us that he wasn’t going home and even if somehow that happens, he will NOT be driving. It is just not happening.

I can’t take all this constant changing and upset. I had no idea at what was in store for us from a stroke. I don’t know where he got the idea he will be driving let alone going home. Wishful thinking I gather.

Not sure what tomorrow will bring.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

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Food banks here in NJ – Rehab Facility


Today I went to the food bank. I feel weird going and getting free food, but my low income makes me eligible and at least we have a communal table that everyone puts the food they don’t eat on and that way there is no waste.

Just realized no pasta this month and not much spaghetti sauce. We did go later though. I got fish this time instead of another whole chicken. I need to start eating at home, but with all this running around to the rehab facility where my dad is makes me eat on the run. I got to stop this.

There is someone there preying on the seniors especially. Talked my dad into wanting this hair dyed black again and a haircut. She is not from the facility and she tells them it is free while hoping they will tip her most of what they would have paid the facility. We had to make him understand what was going on and I talked to the social worker there and she gave us the sheet to prepay for a real haircut and we talked him out of thinking that he needed his hair dyed. His grey hair is distinguishing and black hair would look a little silly on an 86 year old man. We filled out the sheet for him and prepaid it.

He doesn’t know any better and my sister had told him to do what he is told, but this we didn’t see coming. We meant cooperate with the nurses and aides. He was giving them a hard time right after the stroke. He is trying so hard to do what makes them happy.

The other day he called me mommy. He was joking, but it was kind of sad that I had to be in the role of parent to my parent.

And then we have those that are trying to make us feel guilty because we had to make the decision to move him into long term care/nursing home after rehab is done. He will need 24/7 care and that is not an option. I wish people would mind their own business. That decision wasn’t easy for us and we shed many a tear over it and still are on occasion.

I am becoming closer to my sister. Shame it had to be our dad’s stroke that brought us together.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

MRI – severe changes in spine in one year


They were to do just the lumbar spine, but for some reason they did both lumbar (lower) and thoracic (mid spine) and the results showed really bad changes. No wonder I am in such terrible pain.

Good news, no surgery yet. Bad news I have to have a series of 6 injections in the facet joints in one section and then the 2nd section. If this doesn’t help then they use radio waves in the nerves.

The girl scheduled me for more than 4 weeks and I said she wanted 2 to 3. The doctor happened to be standing there and since it was her day to work in the procedure room she could add another patient if she wanted, so I am scheduled for October 2.

Wish me luck!

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Mad, Mad Day


As most of you know my world is crazy right now. My dad has been in 4 Facilities since his stroke. Today we got a call for the 5th and hopefully last one, but it was a matter of less than 2 hours to get him there. If we hesitated we would lose it. This is hopefully where he will finish his subacute rehab and then move into long term care. As much as we hate to do it he can’t go home without 24/7 care. That just isn’t an option.

Sometimes he is relieved he won’t be alone and then he wants to go home. We had to make the choice that is best for him.He seemed to like the place today.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Fibromyalgia Pain From Clothes


Fibromyalgia Pain From Clothes

This is a good article for those with pain from clothing. It has some suggestions that will work for almost everyone.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

A Day At Radiology


Most people go to radiology with just one test in mind. Maybe a mammogram or an MRI. I decided since I hated them both that I would just take one day and schedule them both.

It was time for my routine yearly mammogram. I hate to have them done as something always goes wrong. Whether it is how the technician does it (today she slammed my jaw and chin in the machine. I am yelling and she came running to see what happened. I couldn’t move the machine off of the area and it really hurt.

Mammo’s are painful for me because of the Fibromyalgia. I told her about it and asked that she only tighten the plates the minimum she needed to take the test. Some technicians simple squeeze as hard as possible. She listened and at least a few of the tests weren’t so bad. Now I have to wait and see what they see on the pictures. Every other year or so I am told that they see something and I have to redo the mammo and add an ultrasound and in some cases they want a biopsy which was one of the worst tests I have had done. The anesthesia did not work and I was screaming bloody murder while being scolded about it because after all they gave me anesthesia. Bull! It didn’t work. I went from screaming to tears running down my face and I closed my eyes and tried to ignore it, but every time they touched me I jumped and yelled. The person in charge finally realized that I wasn’t looking at them, but was reacting to each touch. She said to me, “You REALLY are feeling that?” I have a have pain threshold after 40 or more years of chronic pain so you know this was bad. I gave birth to 3 children naturally and didn’t have this much pain. She stopped everything and went through the anesthesia again. It helped a little, but I just finally beared it and got it over with. I don’t want to hear the word biopsy on my breast again. AND there was nothing wrong just to add insult to injury.

Now the MRI is hard as I am incredibly claustrophobic. I took my anxiety medicine before it and since it was my lumbar spine I could go in legs first. Not as scary, plus I had a long ride, but I made the trip since this location had the shortest and the widest bore so i could handle the claustrophobia.

I had a few uncomfortable hours, but it is done and over with and no longer have to look forward to either one of the tests.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

#Weekly Tanka Prompt #Poetry Challenge – Week 111 – Climate & Energy


#Weekly Tanka Prompt #Poetry Challenge – Week 111 – Climate & Energy

Shadorma Poetry by Tessa Smeigh August 2017

who am I

what am I doing

energy

climate change

making earth a better place

all doing our part

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com