I know what you are thinking – where the hell has she been?


My life was turned upside down and still isn’t completely righted yet.

Not sure what I did write so some of this may be repeated.

Around January 12, I was treated for a urinary tract infection and yeast infection. The start of my antibiotic roll.

On January 20 I woke up and felt really funny. I struggled to the bathroom and was standing by my emergency call bell, but my mind was on the fact that the bed seemed a hundred miles away and still moving. I couldn’t catch it. I looked at the phone, but my mind couldn’t comprehend what the phone would/could do and who should I call in the middle of the night and why. Still forgetting the call button at my side I started that long trek to my bed and reached out to pull the emergency button by my bed and passed out.

Luckily the guard was still on duty. I was non-responsive. He called the ambulance. They struggled to get me to wake up enough to walk to the stretcher since I was in a strange position on the bed and the couldn’t get the stretcher beside me. I remember very little of this day. I was rushed to the hospital. It was freezing out and I had on a T-shirt and shorts and bare feet.

Next, I recall my clothes being pulled off and a burning sensation that I later learned was a drug test. Unbeknownst to me, I was exhibiting drug overdose symptoms and sure enough, they found narcotics in me since I take 4 a day for pain. They started the drug overdose protocol and the Narcan being administered was horrendous. My daughter was watching this and crying. Each dose shocked me briefly into consciousness and then back out I would go. After a couple of doses I was awake long enough to understand that the next dose might very well throw me into withdrawal. However, since my kidneys were shutting down and my blood pressure was under 50 which is very low and dangerous they were more focused on that and they just told me to prepare myself because if I go into withdrawal I am going to be in terrible pain. They were pumping me full of liquids trying to force my kidneys to function but they weren’t cooperating and I didn’t even feel an urge to go. The next dose I got I shot out of the bed screaming in pain and crying about the pain in my chest. They did an EKG to make sure it wasn’t my heart and then went about trying to get me to wake up fully and get my kidneys to function and my blood pressure back to normal or at least higher than it was. Finally, my kidneys started to function and all that liquid was released and pushing through my kidneys. Blood pressure rose some and they decided I didn’t need to go to the ICU. I was put in a regular room with the ICU on standby.

I didn’t overdose on purpose. Due to kidney failure my narcotics were not flushing out so as I continued to take my normal dose they built up and thank God I woke up for whatever reason and realized something wasn’t right and pulled the emergency button before I passed out.

At one point in my life, I tried to overdose and didn’t take enough so that was my wake up call. I sure as hell do not want to do that again. They sent me home the next day with antibiotics for the bronchitis I had. Unfortunately it was very serious and my asthma complicated it and I was back in the hospital for a total of 10 days with antibiotics in my IV and orally. Pumped full of Prednisone which since it was a steroid it sent my blood sugars soaring. Came home on that. Plus all the breathing treatments and a new one and found out they contain steroids, some of them anyhow and my sugars all this time later are still out of whack.

Because of this I have home health care which is helping me apply for medicaid which is help I can really use. Dressing myself and bathing is downright difficult and since I have a bath tub and not a walk in shower I need help. Embarrassing, but I got over it. It is nice having help. Hopefully I will be approved for this long-term with a ton of paperwork to fill out.

So anyway I haven’t been around or up to writing. I am still recuperating.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

4th Day In Hospital


In the last one and a half weeks I have had at least 4 infections I was non-responsive. I was just able to hit my emergency button.

Transported to hospital by ambulance. Don’t remember much. Blood pressure was bottoming out and since a narcotic was found in my urine they pumped me full of Narcan for a drug overdose. Horrible from what I remember. I didn’t overdose on purpose. My kidneys were not functioning so the narcotic wasn’t being flushed out and when I took subsequent doses it caused an overdose.

I spent two days and came home Tuesday night only to have to come back Wednesday afternoon.

Not sure what is going on. Infection running rampant and trouble breathing as well. Hope to be back soon as possible.

Tessa

#Haikai Challenge #121 (1/13/20): take down pine (decorations) (matsu osame) #haiku #senryu #haibun #tanka #haiga #renga


#Haikai Challenge #121 (1/13/20): take down pine (decorations) (matsu osame) #haiku #senryu #haibun #tanka #haiga #renga

Rules:

This week, write the haikai poem of your choice (haiku, senryu, haibun, tanka, haiga, renga) that alludes to the Wolf Moon (Okami Tsuki).

Family Room, Living Room, Sewing Room

Image on Pixabay

The New Year Arrives

by Teresa Smeigh 2020

decorations gone

houses look empty without

waiting for next year

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

Missing in Action – Not feeling like writing!


I haven’t felt like writing lately. I went to my writer’s group, but luckily I am way ahead on chapters that I can take for review.

I have become interested in crafting and started what they call “Junk Journals.” I am learning how to create them minus the junk part. I am not feeling the junkiness that this group loves. Mine are nice and neat, well eventually they will be neat as I am still learning how to make them and there are many ways. I made a baby book/journal/scrapbook for my newest grandchild. I have spent hours and I do mean many hours watching videos on youtube on how to construct and decorate the different types of junk journals and spent money on the supplies. I don’t believe it is the mania speaking here. I truly find it fascinating and have 2 birthdays this month to complete.

A true junk journal includes all the junk mail and trash you can accumulate and I am just not into that so mine are much neater and prettier.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

Multiple Chemical Sensitivity in Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS


Multiple Chemical Sensitivity in Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS

I am very sensitive to different chemicals up to and including candles and perfumes. You know how some people douse themselves in perfume. It just about kills me trying to breathe through that. I have to avoid the candle stores and perfume sections of stores. I can’t tolerate the scents.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

Bonfires and marshmallows – haiku


a chill to the air

bonfires, marshmallows melting

paired with chocolate

A haiku prompt.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com