Long Term Care (Nursing Home) Antics


My dad is in long term care now and is still patient pays while we sell his assets and get the government’s (Medicaid) help to pay for it. The house is a wreck and has a reverse mortgage on it which needs to be paid first so not sure what we might get toward his health care from that. He has an older car and some other assets.

Now we never know what kind of day he will be having when we visit. Sometimes he will refuse to talk to us, sometimes he takes a few minutes to figure out who we are, sometimes he tells us how proud he is that we are (my sister and I) are taking care of him and sometimes he tells us we are taking his belongings and making him stay in this place. Today was a good day. My sister, my aunt and cousin were there and all of a sudden my dad says “if anyone knows of a job let me know.” Dementia is kicking in. We are trying to explain to him why he doesn’t need a job and assure him he will be taken care of. Thankfully dinner came then and we could avoid continuing that conversation.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

He has been talking about Zee and Zeke the aliens that come to him. Finally found out today that they are real people, ones an aide and the other works there. They are aware that he thinks they are aliens. Sometimes you just got to laugh.

Now on the annoying side is all the women there have a crush on him and I can’t convince them I am not his wife so they spend the whole time pointing at me and talking about me. They were really making quite a scene of it today and it’s embarrassing.

 

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A New Year Comes – Poem


A New Year Comes

By Teresa Smeigh December 2018

A new year is coming

Bringing many things.

All we can do is wait

And see what the good Lord brings.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Family Christmas Party Went Well


The party went pretty well. There were a few strange spots, but for the most part he was in pretty good shape. This will probably be the last one, but who knows. Next year is still a year away and too early to make plans.

My pain is just a little bit better, but improvement is appreciated. I have started reading again quite a bit. I am reading a book to see about joining a book club at the library and there is a writing class I am trying to pre-register for, but her phone number is not working. The meeting is still on the schedule they told me. I need some inspiration to write some more. Just haven’t felt like it.

I am suffering from an eating disorder so have to start working with my therapist about that. This is the first time I have admitted it so step one is completed.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Dementia Is Horrible


Dementia increasing. Never know what he is going to say or do. We are having a family Christmas party tomorrow. Hope he is in a receptive mood.

I am finally getting some relief in my spinal area that has been so horribly painful. Finally having some times without pain, thank God!

Merry Christmas from my son and I!

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Stroke vs Dementia – not a winning combination


My dad is a gentle and kind man. The other day (he is now in long term care) he struck out at a woman who was touching him and he grabbed her arm and threatened to twist her neck if she didn’t stop touching his ears. They called my sister as this is not normal behavior for him, but it took her hours to talk to him and try to bring him back to reality. This is what we have to look forward to.

We have to get his house sold, car etc. as he is almost broke and we are still waiting on the government to come through with his Medicaid to pay for the Long Term Care. He is now cash pay or whatever term they use.

I am not much help as I am still in tremendous back pain. I had the nerves deadened 3 weeks ago, but not helping much yet if at all. I occasionally will get a break, but that is usually when I am laying down.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

The Scammers Weren’t Lucky-God Will Provide


For one thing they caught me at the end of the month and so there was very little left in account and two I had considerably more than that in my secret hiding place that I keep for emergencies. Yes I miss it, but it would have been gone if my car broke down and I didn’t have enough here to cover it in my emergency stash.

My son was happy to see me taking it positively for a change and not moaning or groaning and beating myself up. Like I said the same thing would have happened if I had an emergency. Those people will get their payback as what goes around comes around.

I believe what I need will be provided by God if it comes to that. I am living on very little and even saving some so in a few months at the most I will have regained it back barring a real emergency.

Physically I am still suffering. The radio wave frequency procedure did not work. I am still in a lot of pain, plus for months now my spine has been moving and I am terrified that eventually I will need surgery. When it moves it sometimes cracks real loud and it also makes me feel paralyzed for several minutes. I worry that one day it is going to not go back in place and I will stay paralyzed for real. Still trying to get a hold of the dr. I have been speaking to underlings who can’t do much, but this last one is going to try and get my refill for narcotics prescription appointment changed to a regular one so I can talk to the dr, but even that is Wednesday. My appointment for a checkup for the procedure is the 19th. Going to the Emergency Room at this moment won’t help. There is nothing they can do unless it really does paralyze me.

40 years of adult chronic pain and all the pain I had as a child. It is time DEAR GOD for some relief, please, I pray to you.

If I become unable to take care of myself what does it leave but a nursing home for me. My kids can’t take me in. One could try, but he is planning on leaving the state and going down south. The other two have no room for me. I am sure they would do their best for me, but it is scary. And I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am.

I just gathered the trash and recycles and my rent check (plus I picked up my mail) and took it downstairs. Of course that has totally aggravated my back. I just took a pain pill not that they feel like they are working.

I have had to take a longer break from visiting dad since my sister is home. Getting in and out of the car hurts and is becoming harder and then there is a very long walk to the facility from the parking lot and then to his room. I was going once a week. Half the time he is blaming me for making the decision with my sister to put him in the long term care center once his rehab is done. He wants to go home and at times he is lucid and knows he isn’t making him mad at us although the other day he did make a statement to us that he thanks us for taking care of him. My brother has no real interest to help and isn’t around here anyhow. He lives down south and is broke so it is up to my sister and I to make sure he is taken care of. Which we gladly do as he is our father and we love him and he took care of us. Although when he is screaming at you for not letting him go home and drive his car it is hard not to explode. My sister told me if he does that just tell him you have to leave. He won’t remember it anyway. It is hard to see such a strong, proud man withering away.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Stupid Damn Scammers and Stupid Me


I fell for a phone scam today. They spoofed the Social Security Number and so it came up that way on my phone since I have them in the phone. The number actually was SSA. They told me that my social security number was frozen due to suspicious activity. (And I just had to have my medicare card, the new one, reissued because it was frozen by SSA due to my address and then reissued). All this led me to believe that it really was SSA and they told me I was in deep trouble and needed a criminal lawyer. All my accounts were to be frozen that used my social security number etc.

Although they didn’t get my info, they did get the little bit of money left in my account, well almost all of it. There wasn’t alot and that is one of the good things about being poor. If I didn’t  have Social Security’s number saved in my phone this wouldn’t have happened. I was probably targeted and they assumed I would have the number saved.

Pretty soon I won’t answer the phone even if it says it is my children. This spoofing is prevalent and they can spoof it to be someone you know.

I learned a lesson today and it could have been a lot worse.

Tessa

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com