To my writing friends, a question?

Any one have any ideas?

Always A Writer

Have you ever started a story with an ending that you had, but no beginning and built from there? Is it a possibility? I had a nightmare (nothing new there). The ending really got me and I started losing the dream as I struggled out of bed to get pen and paper to write it down. I filled in a little to help remember. I am just not sure how to write backwards?

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

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Going off my meds!

I will admit I am scared, but we (the psych nurse and my family) have decided to let me try life without meds. It will take a while to wean me off of them. Hopefully nothing weird happens.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

God’s Plans

“God’s Plans” by Teresa Smeigh January 2017

My life is planned by God,

This I do believe.

God’s plans are set ,

Whether I like them or not.

I pray for those that need it and even those

that do not know that they do.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

Religious Devotions – January 18, 2017 by Teresa Smeigh

To all my faithful readers I am sorry for the down time. I am trying to bring myself back to a life worth living. I know this is God’s plan for me so I will try to resume his plans. God bless you all!!



He Died on the Cross For Us

I will follow wherever you lead, my Lord!

By Teresa Smeigh

You are always welcome in his presence!


Hebrews 4:16 NLT

Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.


You are always eternally welcome to the Lord’s presence, ALWAYS. The enemy will always attempt to get you on his side, but you must resist. Go to the Lord for help resisting the enemy.


Dear Father,

Thank you for forgiving my sins. I am grateful that I can always count on your love and help with your plans for me.



The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you! I Corinthians 6:23

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems


I am sitting here thinking about family. Mine are a comfort and they’re there for me and all my issues. I think they realize now what is going to be like from now on, but they will be there.


Here is my dad with me and my two daughters. On the left is the nurse. Both have 2 children. I don’t have new pictures of the kids and besides they really don’t like the children on social media too much.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

The Con Man and Me… (non-fiction) – Part 3

After he left I went to bed. He was supposed to work the midnight shift.

Over the next few days he never came home, didn’t call, didn’t answer my calls or the other tenants. They were coming to me with problems.

Now I had finally met the owner, but he still thought I lived upstairs. All of a sudden he came to the apartment and caught my son and I there and wondered what was going on and where was “P”?

Well things started to fall apart fast. We all told him what we knew and the owner started to think I was in collusion with “P” and I said no I didn’t know what he was doing. He told us he was part owner. The owner said no he wasn’t. Well then it all started to come out. All the deals he made. The money he was hiding and using. I was scared to death. This guy was a big fancy DC lawyer.

We all went to the police and filed a report. The only thing the police really cared about was could my son say he molested him. They had several complaints. My son said no. They couldn’t change his mind. They lost interest, but the owner filed a suit against him because he lost almost $100,000. Ours were attached but of no significance to the police.

As the owner worked through all the bills and stuff he found out that he hadn’t paid anything in months and the utilities were about to turn off. I suddenly had a electric bill to pay, the cable went off. I couldn’t afford that huge apartment and he wasn’t honoring anything about we had all paid rent to “P”. He brought someone in and he lived with us for a bit to manage the place, but I had to find a place to go because the rent he wanted and the fact I would have to share the apartment with this other man was not cool for me. He threw the kids in the basement out.

I started packing my belongings and found “P” took nothing with him that didn’t fit in his gym bag. That was why he was getting rid of papers. I found a letter from his wife who he owed money to for the kids he demanded so no one would know he was gay and he did something the federal government wanted him for as well. So he ran.

That is how we ended up with my mom and dad. My son had 2 years of high school to go through still.

Eventually he was caught and I went to the sentencing for closure. He looked nothing like the man I knew. I got nothing back and filed for bankruptcy. I won’t go into all the things he actually did to others there and on the job.

Have I learned anything? Yes and no. I am still too far trusting, but just a little more cautious.



The Con Man and Me… (non-fiction) – Part 2

Now I agreed, but the ex was a little iffy about it. I said look, I have no room for him. It is the same house and I have access to that apartment so I can check on him when he wasn’t with me. So he finally agreed. The only thing I didn’t tell him was that “P” was gay. It didn’t bother me or my son, but my ex is a different story.

“P” started to give my son more and more items. He was buying him all kinds of things I couldn’t even begin to get him. During the summer my son turned 16. He said my present was the best he ever got. I got him a cell phone and now he would leave the house since he was always afraid he would miss a call.

“P” was still buying him all kinds of things and he did lots for all the tenants and seemed like the kindest, giving man you could ever know. I thought he was great and even my son was beginning to think of him as the father he didn’t think he had. My son and his father just weren’t getting along and that included the live-in girlfriend. Plus “P” was giving him everything under the sun.

Fall was approaching and I had trouble enrolling him in school since he demanded to live with me and I didn’t have custody. He told his father that he wasn’t coming back to live with him and if he tried to force  him he would run away and go to court and say he wanted to live with his mom. I wasn’t worried about it anymore since things were going so well where we were and I hardly had to provide food or anything so it wasn’t a burden for me anymore. He finally agreed and signed the papers allowing him to attend school there with me.

We were all settled in and then “P” said that one of the guys that shared his apartment was leaving and he had an extra room. It would be less expensive for me and I would be in the same apartment and we all got along well. That was the final step I thought to happiness. Boy was I mistaken.

He told me if I wanted to make my rent even less expensive he would offer me the same deal as the other guy in the connecting apartment. It was a good deal and so I got the money together and gave it to him and my rent was paid for so many years and he even put it on the receipt. Clueless, told you I was naive, he told me that he was subletting my apartment and I would make the monthly payments and he would pay me back. Turns out he was not the owner of the property. Some of you may see where this is all going.

In the meantime he told the owner that a couple apartments were empty and he was renovating them. Instead he rented them out and kept the money. Now he had all this money and he always was able to look generous, but he was using other people’s money.

Now I have paid him for the downstairs room, the original apartment and he always had an excuse as to why he couldn’t pay me back that month. I was busy running up my credit cards to an astounding amount. He was supposed to buy all the food and cook it. Well he did with all of our money.

Then my son started telling me that when they went to the store he bought an item and took the receipt and snuck back in and got another item of the same kind and returned it with the receipt of the first item. Therefore getting the item for free. I didn’t like my son exposed to that.

The “P” started telling me my son was drinking and lying and sneaking in and out and this didn’t sound like my son, but I let it slide.

“P” and I both had birthdays in the fall close together. He gave me all these wonderful gifts and I was actually happy for one of the rare instances I wasn’t depressed.

When Christmas came up, I actually had a ball shopping for “P”. We got a tree and all new ornaments. It was a wonderful Christmas and I was again very happy. My son was thrilled with everything he got.

Next thing I knew he started to renting out the basement to homeless people and taking advantage of them. He provided them with meals so we cooked larger amounts. I turned my head to all of this. I didn’t know what to do.

He started staying away. I had to now buy all the food for all of us and the renters downstairs and cook it. I didn’t have the money to provide the kind of meals he was always making.

He was a nurse and changed jobs alot. He did private duty for children who couldn’t do for themselves.

April he started cleaning all his paperwork out. I didn’t think anything of it. I was cleaning mine as well. About a week later he says to me I have a new job and I start tonight. He went out, came home and told me he had had an accident and the guy wouldn’t report it if he paid him several hundred dollars in cash and could I please lend it to him. So I gave him what I had and he left for work.

Stay tuned for part 3